Fling or Ring? Renee and Jack

AKA: Renee Zellblurghunprounouncable

Years racked up: 35

Known for?: Being a chirpy football-faced Hollywood star with true acting chops, piling on the pounds (then losing them again in a great hurry) to play desperate Brit Bridget Jones, having a lucky escape when she split from rubber-faced fiancé Jim Carrey.

Is involved in a love thing with...

Who? Jack White

AKA: The Taxidermist

Years racked up: 29

Known for?: Being the Luddite axe-mangling frontman of hyped grassroots rockers The White Stripes alongside former wifelet Meg, delivering a pasting to former friend and Von Bondies frontman Jason Stollsteimer, looking like he needs a good St Tropez-ing.

Romance rocketed when: They met on the set of Cold Mountain, Jack's first Hollywood role, where Renee played energetic gun-totin' Ruby Thewes and he played her love interest. Since then, it's been a let's-hide-from-the-paps two years.

Make or break: These publicity-shy two have been on and off again more often than Britney snogs another backing dancer. From tabloid reports that they've been spotted engagement-ring shopping, to rumours that Jack dumped the Texan for having too much 'Bridget baggage', we just don’t know what's going on. It all sounds like PR guff to us - we reckon this wiley pair are just trying to put the snooping press off the scent.

Soppy speak: Rather boringly, Jack'n'Renee will NOT speak about their relationship to us kind and caring journalists. Whyever not? So, in lieu of some real juicy quotes, a number of helpful 'friends' of the couple have been doing their dirty work for them. We've discovered that after Jack’s car crash, Renee nursed him back to health with "listening to The White Stripes non-stop and spending cosy nights in." Lovely.

Biz Bitch says: Some nasty celeb-watchers are accusing the newly-brunette Renee of trying to look like her milky-hued lover, but we wouldn’t ever make such an allegation...;)Plus, countless press reports have this odd couple swapping vows in a Christmas Day ceremony this year — but then again, they did say they had broken up last week. Or something. Whatever, we’re puzzling over this strange celebrity union — which is probably just how they like it.