My partner wants us to make love to music

What does your lover expect music will do to enhance your collective experience? Does he or she have a problem keeping time? In which case, a metronome might be a better aid than a Barry White compilation.

I remember the long-distant days when everyone had sex to music. It always seemed to be Moon Safari by Air, but that could just have been because it was fashionable then.

As you get older, though, you get a bit of your own space and no longer have to fret that your flatmate might hear you. I mean, you might have left Capital FM on, or you might get lucky at a Taylor Swift gig, but actually sparking up special sex music? I'm not sure it really happens after the age of about 25 and I'm pretty confident that the act of constructing a specific playlist for you and your partner to have sex to will be a massive turn-off.

But if you want to be generous and accommodating, you could always put together some gentle tunes — no Wagner, please, or Barry White, obviously. Try Moon Safari.

Nirpal Dhaliwal says...

Music is of immense sexual importance to women, which is why they can't resist DJs and blokes in bands.

Any greasy, dimwitted, malformed weirdo can lay women who are way out of his league simply by spinning a record or strumming a guitar. Moby, Jamie Hince and Jarvis Cocker are examples of guys who've raised their limited sex appeal to stratospheric heights with music.

Men increase their chances of getting laid just by having a cool music collection. Owning cool music makes blokes look cool, and having cool boyfriends makes girls look cool. This has governed how we've lived and loved since the invention of vinyl.

Women love men who dance, too. Winding your bodies together on the dance floor and a few drinks gets a woman feeling free and wanton.

Music is God's gift to the dumb, the broke and the ugly. It's the magical ingredient that enables any man to sleep with women he can otherwise only dream of. Only a fool wouldn't make the most of it.