Presenting: the 2016 Vauxhall VXR Maloo

Inspired by the Australian passion for bazooka ‘utes’, or car-based pickups, the Maloo has been on Vauxhall’s UK roster in this form for nearly five years. You’d be forgiven for not knowing that, as there aren’t that many Maloos on UK roads. Let’s face it, a pickup with a 6.2-litre supercharged V8 engine is a niche product.

With rear-wheel drive, 529bhp and no payload in the back (it can tote 540kg if needs be), you’ll need the reflexes of Sebastian Loeb to keep it tracking straight and true if you’re planning on using all the performance on a greasy winter road.

The old ‘slow’ Maloo had 425bhp and a potential dry-road 0-62mph time of 5.3 seconds. This new model cuts that down to 4.8 seconds. Stiffer suspension sounds like the last thing you’d want, but that’s what you get in the 2016 Maloo, along with a new cooling package and a ‘high-flow’ (read loud) exhaust. To be fair, it does also get a limited slip diff as standard, plus leather, satnav, Bluetooth all the other luxury bits you’d expect in such an expensive toy.

Ah yes, the price. That’s the only real downside of this glorious folly. 54 grand to you, squire – but that does include a free copy of your favourite redtop tabloid tossed carelessly on the dash.