She texted, OMG, LOL...

DC to RB: “Thx 4 kitchen supper last night was gr8! Esp. caviar-stuffed swan’s neck on brioche. Coating beak in 24ct gold was lovely, homely touch. There should be no problem ‘reaching for the Sky’ LOL.”

RB to DC: “Laughing out loud?”

DC to RB: “Doh! *gormless face*. Thought meant Lots of Love :-( Suppose u will now tell me LMFAO doesn’t stand for Let Me First Ask for Order?”

RB to DC: “Haha dude, u can take boy out of Eton... do u know meaning of WTF even?

DC to RB: “With Tailcoat Flapping? Wearing Topper Formally?? Warsi Total Failure?!?”

RB to DC: “Haha. Anyway, how u getting on with chestnut horse?”

DC to RB: “Bit high-spirited at first like all redheads LOL. Fought each other a bit to start with but think we attained respect + are now both heading in RIGHT direction together. Mutual understanding: u take me where I want to go + I give u sugarlump + rub down with curry comb + take stone from hoof with Swiss Army knife.”

RB to DC: “Totes. We understand each other 100%. Talking horses, think old grey mare Vince shd be put out to pasture. Prone to refuse and shy away when faced with potential offence. Sorry, meant to say ‘potential fence’ — predictive text fail!”

DC to RB: “Agree 100% but he’s Nick’s and children r fond of him. My hands tied. At least until we win outright majority. Then pow, both barrels, glue factory.”

RB to DC: “Haha your last text made me cry twice + laugh three times + punch air repeatedly. How is other mayor — sorry, ‘mare’, LOL — palomino Boris?”

DC to RB: “Still headstrong + won’t be reined in + overly frisky + untamed mane + told me to bog off when I talk about airports.”

RB to DC: “Suggest gelding LOL.”

DC to RB: “Haha agree 100%. Gotta go. Sam insisting we colour code Boden wardrobe — she sends LOL.”

RB to DC: “Haha. Charlie sez ‘Olly olly big skool’. Nighty night.”