How to spot a banter escalation scenario

One does not simply walk onto the banter bus. Nor does one necessarily want to. Now, the banter lines are being drawn: today, Prince William — both a dad and a top lad — launched his “stop, speak, support” anti-cyber-bullying campaign, including a guide for children on how to cope with a “banter escalation scenario”. This is an important line in the sand. It asks them to stop and consider what the situation is before joining in negative activity online.

Like it or loathe it, this country was built on banter. Archaeologists in London recently discovered City Boy banter was rife in AD43. A scrawled graffito on the famous Temple of Mithras reads: “They are boasting through the whole market that you have lent them money. Therefore I ask you in your own interest not to appear shabby, you will not thus favour your own affairs.” Nawty!

Today, top bantz range from half-baked puns on The Great British Bake Off to Love Island’s nu-laddish charm. Banter is a leveller in Brexit Britain.

If we’re not on the same page, at least we’re on the same Facebook page: hundreds of banter groups exist on the site, from Banter Britain to the Premier League Banter Page.

At Francis Holland School, the upmarket west London girls’ school in Sloane Square once attended by Cara Delevingne and Sienna Miller, the head, Lucy Elphinstone, recently suggested girls should be taught banter at school to toughen them up for the world of work. It’s not going away anytime soon. Here’s the banter breakdown.

Cheeky bantz

The most winning form of banter, when you’re just about getting away with it. As spicy as a cheeky Nando’s.

Archbishop of Banterbury

Not directly related to Justin Welby, although he has his banterous moments. This is someone who has impressed with banter on such a regular basis that he or she may confer banter blessings on others.

Bantersaurus Rex

Those whose banter is outdated, outmoded, but who still represent a self-pronounced “king of banter”. A person who uses old jokes repetitively to create a reaction that has been overused. Dangerous, approach with caution.