Laura Craik: Is this the most colourful Wimbledon yet?

This being Wimbledon season, inevitably talk has turned to Twags, aka Tennis Wives and Girlfriends, aka Ladies with Improbably Lustrous Hair, White Teeth and a Penchant for Sheath Dresses, Often (Inexplicably) in Polka Dot. LILHWTPSDO(I)PDs, if you will. Setting aside the contentious issue of whether a Twag is a Tennis Wife or a Tech Wife, I have to confess that I’ve been more intrigued by the hot young female players than by the male players’ blow-dried wives. Who is more compelling: a thirtysomething woman with a rictus grin and dubious taste in hosiery, or a young wannabe tennis champ?

Which brings us to Chelsea May Samways, the 18-year-old Brit whose 1,278= ranking in the women’s doubles may not be causing Serena Williams to lose much sleep, but give her time. Wimbledon isn’t the only club to which Samways is partial: she was recently spotted leaving Soho’s Cirque with fellow tennis player Monique Belovukovic, also 18, both of whom were allegedly getting friendly with world No 20, Nick Kyrgios. Who has a girlfriend. Allegedly. A quick scroll through Samways and Belovukovic’s Instagram feeds will do little to assuage said girlfriend’s fears. And to think Anna Kournikova was once considered risqué for appearing in an Enrique Iglesias video.

Meanwhile, Australian Bernard Tomic has been fined £11,600 for saying he was ‘bored’ during a match and had faked injury. What with this and suspicions that injured players are turning up simply to claim prize money, it’s all adding up to a colourful Wimbledon. What was it Monica Seles said? Tennis has to become everything to you if you’re going to make it to the top.

Route of all Evil

Snap Maps: a handy way to hook up with cute boys, or the end of civilization as we know it? Certainly the end of privacy as we know it, not that any of us enjoy the luxury of privacy any more: it’s estimated that there are 500,000 CCTV cameras in London alone, and six million in Britain. If you want to confirm your suspicion that all your friends are not, in fact, at Rihanna’s secret London BBQ/gig in Clapton but are sitting at home watching Netflix just like you, Snapchat’s new location-sharing feature could prove nifty. But given the vast number of children who use the app, it’s also alarming — particularly given that the feature is enabled as a default. If you don’t want anyone to know where you are, make sure you set it to Ghost Mode. And if you want to entrap your cheating douchebag partner, you know what to do.

The Cheek of It

Apparently, women are being exhorted to shave off all their hair, on the basis that three really good-looking celebrities with next-level cheekbones have shaved off theirs. Grab the hair clippers! A buzz cut is the next big thing! Not if you have jowls, a lantern jaw, or a head shaped like a potato. Sure, at the Chanel show in Paris, Cara Delevingne, Kristen Stewart and Katy Perry looked undeniably foxy with their shorn-off locks, but then again, they’d also look good bald. If you don’t have the bone structure of Adwoa Aboah (surely the most beautiful woman who ever lived), you’d better take a leaf out of Celine Dion’s book and think twice. NB: don’t you be getting any ideas either, Celine.