How does Harry Styles get his hair like that?

Is he going out with Nick Grimshaw?

No, but you’d be forgiven for thinking so. Haz and Grimmy (ten years older) have enjoyed crazy nights at G-A-Y and more sedate cinema dates — most recently to the Emma Watson romcom The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Harry left halfway through. His favourite films are Love Actually and The Notebook, so maybe it was a bit highbrow.

Why is he such a hit with older women?

For a start he loves his mum, Anne, so much that he phones her up to five times a day. He also runs her baths with candles and music... OK, that is a bit creepy. Generally he likes a woman with a good appetite and insists ‘there’s no such thing as “fat” ’, adding: ‘I love cougars. Age is nothing but a number,’ which is easy to say when you are 18.

What does he like to wear?

Nothing! Just think about that for a minute! OK, now stop. He says his worst habit is ‘being naked all the time’, although he does accessorise with Bleu de Chanel aftershave. Mmmm.

Where does he like to kiss girls?

On the neck, like a vampire.

How does he get his hair like that?

Ooh, the hair. In Harry’s words: ‘My hair isn’t an afro... it’s sex hair. Sex hair!’ If you want sex hair, too, take the advice of Stephen Low, top stylist at Neville: ‘Harry has embraced his natural curls. Wearing his hair teased forward gives him an edgier look but retains that natural, boyish vibe.’ Low recommends rubbing a small amount of Shu Uemura’s Shu Kengo Feather styling product into the palm of your hand and then working it through dry ends, scrunching as you go. There, now you look just like him.

Does he really do Pilates?

Yes. To improve his bad posture. Apparently this is also an aid to improve lovemaking.

What was he doing on the front row at Fashion Week?

The same as everyone else, checking out the hot ladies, including his most recent conquest Cara Delevingne, she of the impressive eyebrows.

Can he sing?

Can Madonna wear a bra? What kind of question is this! Of course he can. Nicole Scherzinger described his gravelly voice as ‘beautiful’ at his X Factor audition two and a half years ago. Simon Cowell was more circumspect, urging ‘a bit of vocal coaching’. Anyway, Harry did as he was told, and is now one of One Direction’s two soloists.

Does he hate the other 1D boys?

Listen, this isn’t Take That. Harry LOVES the other boys. Especially his Primrose Hill neighbour Louis. He does, however, have reservations about each of them individually: ‘Louis has smelly feet... Niall trumps a lot... Zayn, if you look at him in a room, he just kind of sits there, like... Liam always cannot wait to do stuff.’ You see?

Why did he break up with Caroline Flack?

Because One Direction fans wanted to kill her. He did it to save her life. She is now living peacefully on a small Scottish island with a new identity. Honest.

Who is Caroline Flack anyway?

A 32-year-old English television presenter. She fronted The X Factor spin-off show The Xtra Factor in 2011, the year after One Direction came third.

Where can I get my hands on him?

In the playground in Primrose Hill. Not really. He drinks shandies at the nearby Lansdowne pub with his boys or Grimmy’s glossy posse (never both).