Hangover-proof booze for the festive season
Darjeeling doesn’t give you a hangover,’ said a sage friend, Bruce Perry of Marussia (alcoholic) Beverages. A noteworthy point. The only bona fide tactic for escaping a Force 10 hangover, occurrence of which increases with age, is by abstaining from alcohol by volume (ABV) altogether. But, however convincing the taste of alcohol-free beer, wine, tequila and (inexplicably, given its aim of subtle flavours) vodka, current substitutes cannot replicate the endorphins that genuine articles so readily, and often relatively affordably, deliver.
Speaking to peers, there seems enough conjecture, sometimes interspersed with scientific studies, to suggest certain drinks may punish pleasure-seekers less the morning after the night before. There is also a consensus that drinking the best quality you can afford is a first-rate plan, not least because something worth savouring is likely to be consumed moderately. Quality-orientated brands understand the importance of keeping consumers clear-headed and are therefore likely to draw first dibs on the finest water supplies and raw ingredients, processed with less obvious chemical callousness.
If you don’t wish to pay for pleasure with pangs of pain, I suggest avoiding bubbles, which hasten the passage of alcohol and associated impurities into the blood. Favour drinks in their purest states, shunning sugary and carbonated mixers, particularly those rigging sweetness from controversial substitutes like aspartame. If you have a garden or allotment, grow your own garnishes or at least wash shop fruits to scour away potential pesticides. And always keep yourself irrigated with water when indulging in the art of the bender and eat heartily alongside. Lighter-coloured drinks contain fewer ‘congeners’ than deeper-hued pours. Often accrued during maturation, these chemicals produced during fermentation are believed to be the single most significant hangover contributors.
Indeed, the British Medical Association rated vodka as the least likely drink to leave one with a hangover souvenir, although when mixed, it is also one of the most troublingly comfortably consumed spirits. International vodka-judge-turned-distiller, Pleurat Shabani, insists he never suffers hangovers drinking martinis with his fennel-scented spirit, Konik’s Tail (£38.99, at Selfridges), crafted in Europe’s last primeval forest, Białowieża. I can attest it has never harmed me either — and I’ve accompanied the wiry, perma-scarf-wearing Kosovan on several sorties around Mayfair.
Often blamed for banshee-grade headaches, tequila is also a relatively safe option if made with care. I learnt to appreciate it neat with bracing ceviche and cosseting tempura rather than salty citric shots. Try Patrón Silver (£40.95, thewhiskyexchange.com), reaped 100 per cent from Mexico’s blue agave, which grows up to two metres tall in the Grand Cru-grade Jalisco highlands. And, though taking flavour from juniper — a diuretic — gin is also congener-light. I survived Scot-free after a martini formed from Isle of Harris Gin at the legendary Dukes Bar. There, barkeep Alessandro feels dilution is anathema. The distillery, beautifully located in the Outer Hebrides and ultimately founded to produce whisky, is home to ‘The Dottach’ — a customisable grappa still repurposed for gin. Order the crystalline libation direct from the distillery, (£35, harrisdistillery.com).
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What about vino? Trevor and Judith Burns, importers of European wines, report ‘lack of thumping heads’ with so-called naturally produced wines. ‘Call them real, natural or additive-free, but we put our lack of headaches down to the relative lack of intervention of chemicals or heavy-handed sulphites.’ By contrast, supermarket wines can lead to flu-like symptoms, Judith believes. ‘My jaw aches, eyes stream, often my nose too; sometimes I get a rash and cannot sleep.’
Although the hangover may be less striking, much ‘natural’ wine to have passed my lips approximates vinegar more than vin. However, the Burns’ white label white wine, Klabjan Malvazija Istarska (Slovenia) is crisp with no hint of natural wine’s habitual perfume — the livestock farm (£19.50, pactaconnect.co.uk).
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