And selfies? No. I tried one once in the privacy of a nightclub toilet with my first ever camera phone, bright white light pummelling my every pore. It did not match the image in my mind. And so, long before ‘selfie’ had become the 21st century’s most annoying lexicon entry, I became a selfie-phobe. But time, and mobile-phone cameras, have of course moved on significantly — to the extent that the iPhone X’s professional standard-dwarfing spec was last week criticised for being ‘too good’. Which, I thought, is exactly what I’m after. And so, here, with the assistance of ‘Portrait’ mode and ‘Contour Light’ setting, and in a world-exclusive to rival that time we told you Gigi Hadid likes Yorkshire pudding, is my first ever published selfie. When the picture editor asked me if I liked the results, I said I was ‘not displeased’, which — trust me, Apple — is not far short of a miracle. In fact, Apple: should you wish to use the above quote on those massive billboards of yours, you have my blessing. I might even shoot an accompanying image for you.
