I spot Neanderthal, my boyfriend, on the crowded edge of the pool and insist he joins us. He leaps in, in his pants, and lifts Annette and me up in all sorts of ballet poses - until one of his friends tells him he looks as though he's gender-bending too.
We climb out when we realise Shingai Shoniwa of the Noisettes is singing I Heard You Say on the stage, looking stunning in a gorgeous little gold metallic costume with Japanese ornaments in her hair.
Neanderthal keeps pressing up behind me. I bite my lip and have to literally drag him into the changing rooms.
There's a "one person only" policy in each shower room but the corridor is dark so we manage to slip in together. The steam from the shower mists the mirror and I wipe a circle clear so that I can see his beautiful physique behind me.
His dark brown eyes probe me as the sink cupboard starts to knock but after about 15 minutes we start hearing other knocks that are out of time with our own.
The people queuing outside are clearly getting rather impatient - but we couldn't stop even if we tried.
