The whitewashed brick walls and natural colours say country kitchen or farm shop café. It calls itself a “Vegetarian Kitchen and Grocer”. My fashion writer friend didn’t appreciate the rustic tables that complete Orchard’s aesthetic, snagging her tights on them as she sat down. Not that she could be vocal about it, though — our waitress was lurking awkwardly a few yards away, whispering to her colleague in a manner you really can’t get away with in an empty room.