Car man with the Carmen touch

I love dance myself, but I've got two left feet. I'm terrible. Shocking. Don't dance with me or I'll break your legs. The Car Man is artistic director Matthew Bourne's third ensemble piece for Adventures In Motion Pictures. It's a slant on the original Carmen in a sort of Hollywood film noir style.

The way he adapted Swan Lake and Cinderella is genius. He seems to mix traditional ballet with modern dance and turn it all on its head, by taking old ideas and doing something totally different. I've seen the all-male Swan Lake 11 times (he must have thought he most definitely had a stalker) and was absolutely gripped, not because it was gay - wrestlers are more effeminate than his dancers - just because of the way he gets a story across through dance. I loved the cygnets - all sassy and preening and slightly bitchy.

I met Matthew when he moved to the Dominion and he's a quiet guy. You wouldn't think he was the man behind these flamboyant productions. I just wanted to ooze all over him. I wanted to say, "You broke my heart tonight," but I didn't. I don't cry at many things but it touched something in me. He sees things other people don't see.

AMP is a brilliant company. So tight. Their productions always have fabulous costumes and sets - they're slick and stylish with no tack, if you know what I mean. They're moving to the Old Vic which was floundering terribly recently. I think Matthew will be the guy to give it new life and be the saving grace with The Car Man. It suits me fine that I don't know much about it, as I'll be able to walk in a blank canvas. The performances are normally erotic, not in-your-face pornographic, but there are great undertones of sexuality. They're very horny. In fact they throb with passion and Carmen being a very passionate story... Well, I imagine he'll have a field day with it. I'll be there on the first night if he bothers to send me a ticket.