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Review at a glance
I’ve always wanted to see Mr Bennet mauled by the undead.
The most passive-aggressive spouse in English literature, Mr B surely deserves to have his grey-matter gobbled. Alas, the body count in Lionsgate’s glossy genre mash-up is ridiculously low.
True, some of the blame must go to Seth Grahame-Smith (on whose book the film is based). But at least Grahame-Smith killed off Mr Collins! It would have been perfect if the film’s clergyman (the wonderful Matt Smith, channelling Blackadder’s Lord Percy Percy to hilarious effect) had discovered his wife was a zombie and wound up swinging from a noose. Because gory deaths are what makes Z movies tick. But no. Like all but one of the major characters, Collins remains tickety boo.
Question: why have I left it to the second paragraph to talk about Elizabeth (Lily James) and Mr Darcy (Sam Riley)? Answer: because they’re brain-achingly dull.
Bonneted badasses: Elizabeth Bennet (Lily James) and her sisters go after the undeadIt’s entertaining at first that our heroine and hero can slay zombies as expertly as they parry quips but the joke wears thin.
Just as importantly, this version of Austen’s romance sells the Regency author short. Lizzie is unconventional because she’s not the prettiest girl in the room. But 26-year-old James is the prettiest girl in the room, which makes the love story, er, conventional. Nor do close-ups of her heaving breasts and lissom thighs (she likes to whip knives from her garters) suggest director Burr Steers is interested in showcasing her genuine talents.
It’s even worse that the zombies are mostly dressed in tatters and are led by a chippy upstart. Austen’s Darcy may have been privileged but he was politically passive. The film’s tough toff owes more to George Osborne and it’s hard to get behind his fight to keep the 99 per cent in check. PAPAZ has done poorly in the US. What a shame.
Cert 15, 108 Mins
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