Crouching tiger, hidden talent

There's wild fight choreography in the excellent Kung Fu Hustle, Eleonore Faucher presents a quietly lovely debut film and two robotic newlyweds' move to a Gothic mansion soon becomes a living nightmare in The Amityville Horror...

Kung Fu Hustle
*****
The last time you saw two characters zooming after each other at impossible speed, legs a circular blur and hands held up like paws, was probably in a Tex Avery cartoon. Kung Fu Hustle writer/ director/star Stephen Chow has given these powers to his live-action characters, added the chop-socky powers of a traditional kung fu B-movie and thrown in a bit of Crouching Tiger air power. The result is tremendous. The Axe Gang are feared throughout the land. Only the dirt-poor runts in Pig Sty Alley escape their notice, until loser Sing (Chow) wanders into the Alley pretending to be an Axe man. But the Gang find these nobodies disconcertingly able at defending themselves and soon a small, violent lesson in good manners has escalated into all-out war. Unlike many Hong Kong action flicks, this charming film has enough of a story to support its wild fight choreography, and Chow - as the kung fu equivalent of the ugly duckling - even manages to round out his character.
Extras: Tons, including commentary, deleted scenes and behind-the-scenes doc.

A Common Thread
***
In Eleonore Faucher's quietly lovely debut film A Common Thread, Claire (Lola Naymark) is a sullen 17-year-old with more reason for her sulks than most. She's alone and pregnant, with nothing but a dead-end supermarket job and her passion for embroidery to sustain her. She leaves to have the baby in seclusion, away from home-town gossip and finds work with a Paris couturiËre (Ariane Ascaride) who is, in her way, as lonely as her protègèe. Gradually, the two quiet women - one a bereaved mother, the other an expectant one - form a bond through the sewing they love and their struggles. This French film was never going to set the cinema alight but the beautifully shot and gently poignant if unsurprising story is sympathetically told.
Extras: None.

Le Diner De Cons
***
There's no exact English translation of the French 'con', which is ruder than idiot (although with the same implication of intellectual superiority) but not quite as impolite as the misogynistic English slang it resembles. It's on this very French territory that witty, claustrophobic and very successful Le Diner De Cons falls. The intellectual bourgeoisie have the fiendish notion of a regular dinner, where each guest must bring the biggest fool he can find, and the guest with the most moronic companion wins. Pierre (Thierry Lhermitte) knows he's on to a winner with FranÃois (Jacques Villeret) but the more arrogant the man, the more vulnerable he can be... Francis Veber adapted this from his own play and, although its theatrical roots are obvious, the script is too funny for that to matter. It did well here, which makes it very odd that this is its first outing on DVD. But here it is, so laugh yourself stupid.
Extras: None

The Amityville Horror
***
When two robotic newlyweds and their stepchildren relocate to a Gothic Long Island mansion, their dream home soon becomes a nightmare. For not only was their snap-up deal the site of a mega-bloody murder - a true crime case from 1974, for those of you too young to remember - but their roomy cellar desecrates a sacred Indian burial ground (the things they don't tell you in surveys) and it's still housing a grudge. As remakes go, it's the usual forgettable rollercoaster, but it's heaps scary. Witty, Scream-like cameos give an ironic sassy edge: the hottie babysitter's a hoot. Shame the only elements that cross over from the still memorable 1979 original are the impossibly bad beards and even worse acting.
Extras: Director/writer interviews, commentary, making of... and the cast hilariously attempting to get deep with their 'characters'.