A book called I Hate Men is causing outrage. But it’s time someone said it: men are the worst

I’d like to make the case that being attracted to men is a fatal flaw, because they are the absolute worst. I understand how claiming to hate men could be confusing for some, especially those who know me well. I’ve had horrible experiences with men who wouldn’t know a boundary if it grabbed their bum and told them to smile, but I also have two perfectly decent older brothers and a loving, supportive dad. I’d walk over hot coals for my male friends and my partner is a dream. Despite all this, men are still the worst.  

A new book entitled I Hate Men by 25-year-old Pauline Harmange has caused outrage in France. But she’s quite right. Yes there are loads who mean well and are totally cognisant that the system is rigged in their favour, but on a wider structural level, they must be stopped. It’s a topic of conversation that rankles many a bro understandably, since manhood isn’t plain sailing. Men are affected by disproportionate suicide rates, double standards when it comes to domestic violence and the endless pressures of hypermasculinity. When you hold these up against the countless ways women have been dealt the short straw however, the scales are still overwhelmingly tipped in men’s favour. What was that Margaret Atwood quote? “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”  

For women who are afflicted with the attraction to men, what are our options? Perhaps we could boycott them all together? Think about it: the orgasm gap is still very much a thing and studies show that married women in heterosexual partnerships have shorter life expectancies than their single counterparts. With glaring stats like these, surely going it alone is the key to a longer and less stressful life? Easier said than done, as now and then a good one pops up and plants a seed of hope. Look at John Legend, Russell Wilson and Alexis Ohanian — three men leading the way in first husband-ing with an unabashed adoration for their wives. Dating aside, whether we like it or not, we can’t get any real change without support from the very men reaping the benefits from this structural dynamic.  

Still a girl can dream. Imagine a utopia where the majority of world leaders are Jacinda Ardern types as opposed to trigger-happy men. Women jog freely in parks at midnight, with headphones blaring and eyes focused forward rather than darting around on the lookout for shifty characters. Estranged husbands get custody of the kids and mums get to be the fun parent at the weekends. Rape victims are believed. Rapists are locked up and forced to swallow the key. Paternity leave is a thing. Can you imagine? Now fellas, before you send me lots of unsolicited opinions I won’t read, about how unreasonable/wrong/offensive this article is, just remember: the first step to recovery is recognising that you are indeed, the worst.

BELIEVE it or not, I am a hopeless romantic and there’s something about a good (or even better, bad) Christmas rom-com that warms me up inside. I’m itching to see Happiest Season — the upcoming “gay Christmas movie” starring Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis. It’s great that old tropey narratives are becoming more inclusive; after all, queer people are allowed to be cheesy too! Of course I’ll also be revisiting classics such as Love Actually and The Holiday. Lockdown or no lockdown, this Christmas you’ll find me snuggled up as always with a spiced mulled wine and a cockle-warming festive love story on the telly.