Long-term review: Volkswagen Golf 1.0 TSI

Bulky loads and cargos that could put you in hospital? All in a weekend’s work for our Golf…

22 October 2016

Sometimes, you might find yourself reading a long-term test report and thinking it comes across as a bit of an exercise in self-justification. ‘We’ve driven it this month, on roads and stuff, it was great…’

But here’s the kind of test only a proper dose of real life can give a car. Transporting a pair of beehives.

And 20,000 bees.

The hives came first. They’re pretty bulky units – this is definitely the sort of job that makes people look up their cousin’s husband’s mate who they met once and haven’t spoken to since but who happens to run a pick-up truck.

But you don’t need a pick-up truck – all you need is a Golf and, though it’s a bit of a squeeze, two people and two hives can be transported from A to (sorry) B.

With that part of the job done, it was time to go back and pick up the bees. Who were now temporarily homed in a cardboard box and, as you or I would be under the circumstances, had the raging hump about it.

Once again, you might call this a job for a pick-up truck. Or a van with a full-height bulkhead. Or anything, really, so long as it had a solid barrier between the cabin and the buzzing mob in the back.

To be on the safe side, we made the journey in full beekeeper suits, which is a tremendous way to attract attention to yourself. Still, looking ridiculous on the M25 or not getting your head kicked in by 20,000 angry bees? No contest. Oh, and how much headroom do you need to wear a beekeeper’s headgear while driving? However much it is, the Golf has it.

Talking of the M25, the concrete bits did nothing for the Golf’s ride, or our chums’ mood. But it soaked up the bumps pretty nicely on proper roads – albeit with the assistance of a driver who was earnestly keen to steer around anything that looked like it might turn his new hobby into a miniature star fleet with a thirst for revenge.

The fact that you’re reading these words, and not a report that reads ‘ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow’ or something similar, can be taken to mean we made it home with our cargo intact. As, happily, was our skin.

Still, it was a fraught old journey, and there’s only so much tiptoeing you can take. After pussyfooting our way around the edge of London, at last our new friends are back in their hives. And now the Golf is liberated from its hazardous cargo, we’re itching to get out there and show it a good time on a (sorry) B-road.

Ought to get a bit of a buzz out of that.

MORE ABOUT

VW Golf

Long-term review: Volkswagen Golf 1.0 TSI

Read More