How to dress for holiday success

The ultimately successful holiday wardrobe is purest sartorial holy grail. It has to look effortless - unplanned, thoughtlessly thrown-together, yet spectacularly effective. It has to look sexy without being slutty, casual without losing chic. It has to expose flesh. The potential for error, needless to say, is vast. Fortunately, there are some rules:

Do get into throwing low-cut transparent diaphanous kaftan tops on over bikinis. They are fashionably hippie-styled, low maintenance cover-ups which smack of Cap d'Antibes in the early Seventies.

Do not go in for sarongs. They add nappy-style bulk to your hip line and, hell, who needs that? They also tend to come undone at inappropriate moments, which will have you scrabbling about your mid-section in an ungainly fashion.

Do invest in a splendidly forgiving tankini. These Calvin Kleinpioneered vest and hipster pant combinations are ultimately wearable - sharp, structured, sporty and chic.

Do not assume that a one-piece swimming costume will cover all sins and flatter all bodies.

Au contraire, one-pieces tend to emphasise every errant bulge, on account of pulling so terribly taut over the trunk.

Do experiment with massive, Talitha Getty-informed floppy brimmed sun hats. They're pretty and louche, and infinitely preferable to the towelling sun visor, the other high-fashion accessory of the summer, which was clearly purpose-designed to make most people look like slightly unhinged, tremendously camp golfers.

Do not buy bikini bottoms with tie sides, unless your hips are as lithe and honed as a Brazilian glamour model's. They'll only cut into your side flab like cheese wire. Equally, avoid highfashion bikinis - Burberry's check number, Chloe's pineapple-embossed affair. They're dated and selfconscious, and you'll inevitably bump into someone else whose got one too, and looks better in it than you.

Do schlop about between the poolside and the private villa in Scholl sandals (in the style of Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City), hessian-heeled wedges, or Office's diamanté-studded kitten heeled flip-flops.

Do not wear thongs. Whoever you are, however fabulous your bottom. Thongs are low-rent, faintly depressing and residually Amanda Holden. A hipster-cut brief is infinitely prettier. Unless you're a man, obviously - in which case, you should only wear un-patterned shorts which end just above the knee, and have a reasonable amount of give in them, without ever going flappy.

Do buy up a selection of Eighties-styled slash-necked grey marl sweatshirts (available from Warehouse, now). They slop down sexily over bronzed shoulders and are all the rage in the most chi-chi corners of the Costa de la Luz.

Do not wrap a jumper of any description around your shoulders before sauntering out into the balmy continental dusk. British people simply cannot get away with this kind of preppiness. That's just the way it is.