My ideal is to be able to swoop athletically down the piste and stop for lunch looking fresh, glowing and groomed. More often than not, the reality is hair squashed flat by a ski hat, streaming eyes, red nose and cheeks and disintegrating nails. But it doesn't end there, because in any resort - and this week I'm in Zermatt - there's après-ski to contend with, too. This means a need to surface later in the day looking effortlessly got together with flawless skin, shining hair and muscles miraculously pain free.