Take a break for a fake

It's not often, when faced with a £2,639 Oyster Perpetual Rolex watch, that the salesman asks you what price you

Obviously, they're all knockoffs. He seems a bit jittery and scarpers upon spotting four policemen. But he soon strolls back, offering the "Rolex" in question for a knockdown 60€ (£38)

After a night downing chocolate martinis at £6.70 a pop with Prince Albert and U2 at the Columbus Hotel (as you do round these parts), and standing P Diddy a drink at Jimmy'z (£50 for a glass of champagne and a Heineken), you might not think Monaco is the place to go for bargains - illegal or otherwise.

But if you drive 20 minutes east on the vertiginous winding road overlooking the C?te d'Azur, with snowcapped mountains on your left and blue sea on your right, you'll find Ventimiglia just over the border on the Italian Riviera. Up on the hill it's all very Wish You Were Here, with dilapidated cathedral, lush botanical gardens and yellow houses. Down below, on the other side of the estuary, it's more grungy. Here, every Friday, the unscrupulous recoup what they lost at the casino (or Jimmy'z) by shopping at the largest black market in Europe: knock-off central. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that buying fakes or stolen goods is illegal, minked-up minxes and Barbour boys from Italy and France are parading the couple of miles of stalls along the promenade like it's some sort of Sloane Street sweep. local Italians skive off work to come (the website says up to 30,000 tourists come in July and August).

To get to the black market, you sidestep the ancient Mercato dei Fiori, a market filled with fruit and flowers, and fight through girls wearing tear-gas scent, and suddenly you're awash in a sea of Chanel diamante Cs; pink, blue, and green fake sunglasses that cost £120 in England can be had on the stalls here for £23.

The goods are of varying quality - like anywhere else, you get what you pay for. The 14€ (£9) Louis Vuitton transparent graffiti bag is not much cop - but the upmarket version for £100 looks to my untrained eye indistinguishable from the real thing. One stall has an LV catalogue, and the stallholder boasts he can get you anything in it.

A pseudo camouflage Dior bag is 75€, (£47) the saddle bag 90€ (£57) and the largest erstaz Gucci shoulder bag is 75€ (£47 - for brand morons, they've kindly put up a Gucci ad on the stall). "We can put on the plaque (or logo) if you like it," says the stallholder to one buyer, but he hides behind his van to do it. According to the genial polizia who stroll around in packs, it's not the bags that are illegal, it's the plaques.

The police, he says, book 10 stallholders a month, and fines are 100,000 to 1,000,000 (about £300 to £3,000 lire) for repeated offences . If buyers get caught they're in trouble too. If you're caught, you have to give your purchase back at customs, and pay four times what you paid for it. No saying it cost a fiver - the police know the market rates. "Mostly, the police stop bulk buyers," says a chic-looking girl who lives in Monaco, "those who are buying goods to sell them more lucratively elsewhere - once in a while they stop the likes of you and me, and then show the footage on TV to make sure we get the point."

How good are the fakes? Well, if I'd bought that tempting Gucci bag, the logo would have fallen off before I checked out of my (lovely) room at the Columbus. Having said that, the Rolex Oyster Perpetual would have been keeping perfect time and earning me a tide of compliments two weeks later.

What she wants

Gucci classic sunglasses
Monaco fakes = 15€ (£9.38)
UK reality = £110

Calvin Klein sunglasses
Monaco fakes = 15€ (£9.38)
UK reality = £80

Mulberry pochettes
Monaco fakes = 31€ (£19.38)
UK reality =£125

Hermes Kelly bag
Monaco fakes = 325€ (£203.13)
UK reality = £2,200-4,000

Gucci and Hermes belts
Monaco fakes = 15€ (£9.38)
UK reality = £210

Burberry pashminas
Monaco fakes = 12.9€ (£8.06)
UK reality = £279

Way to go

Syrie Johnson flew to Nice on easyJet (0870 600 0000; www.easyJet.com ), which flies daily from Luton and Gatwick, current returns from £42. She stayed at the Columbus Hotel (00 377 92059000), doubles from £120.

Gimme five... Italian fashion factory shops