Wake-up call for us at home

I don't know about the England players, but this was certainly my toughest World Cup warm-up to date. The radio alarm went off at 6.27am, which is not a time that would be recognised in any court of law, particularly on a Sunday.

It was raining in a persistent manner. There had been vague plans about hot, fresh coffee and warm croissants, but those plans remained vague. All that was to be found was a plastic carton of coleslaw and a bottle of fizzy water. I consoled myself with the thought that this is probably what Sven feeds his boys. It made me feel one of the team.

Sky Sports had wheeled out the A-team for this one. Expert comment in the studio was offered by the dynamic partnership of Alan Smith and Peter Taylor, neither of whom had much to say of interest and whose expressions were somewhat morose throughout.

Given the time of day and the weather, one had a bit of sympathy, but surely the point of these people is to work themselves into a furious lather over something, so as to entertain us, the viewers. There was a gloomy update on the injury curse, led by a pessimistic blast from the News of the World. The situation is so dire that Angus Deayton is looking a real prospect to shore up the weakened midfield.

The only cheering news in the build-up to the match was that Alan Shearer, on holiday in Abu Dhabi or some such place, was on his way downstairs from his hotel room for a champagne breakfast. There are those who would still like to see him in the team, but if Shearer is remembered for anything other than his goals and a robust approach to the business of life, it will be that he got out of international football in the nick of time.

Meanwhile, over in Japan, something was stirring, and that something was Ray Wilkins. Ray was clearly impressed by the physical stature of the Indomitable Lions, a fact accentuated by the wearing of vests rather than football shirts. He returned to his theme again and again during the match. Wilkins, aided and abetted by Martin Tyler, managed to convey the impression that Cameroon were nothing less than an unbeatable collection of oversized supermen.

As always in these games, a decent first half dissolved into a lacklustre second with the arrival of busloads of substitutes. Long before the final whistle, I was making a mental early exit.