The hunt for table tennis heaven

Since then table tennis has drifted steadily downward in audience popularity, despite the extraordinary fact that practically everyone in Britain has played the sport at some time.

Probably the best global exposure the sport has had in recent years came courtesy of Tom Hanks' computer-generated skills in Forrest Gump.

But this year has its positives. In what ETTA call "a massive deal", Sky will broadcast seven hours from the Open this Sunday, when 1,200 spectators will pay £12 apiece to witness six finals. Yet even title sponsorship from an online bookmaker, Sportingbet.co.uk, means the total prize fund on offer is just £65,000.

Nonetheless these are newsworthy times for home table tennis.

In recognition of the long decline in the English game - top domestic hope Matthew Syed will be hard-pressed to become the first Englishman to win the Open since Desmond Douglas in 1984 - the administrators decided to appoint a foreign coach for the English

team . . . a Swede, no less.

The Swedes dominate the sport, and they got that way by recruiting foreign help themselves.

Thirty years ago the Swedish federation appointed a former world champion, the late Ichirio Ogimura of Japan, as their national coach. Bingo.

When ETTA decided to follow suit five years ago, they appointed Soren Ahlun for his proven track record - he coached the Swedish team to the world title.

"As in football, we are desperate to improve to the level of the very best countries," said Brian Halliday, ETTA vice-chairman. "Table tennis always leads the way in these trends. Other sports simply follow.

"Thirty years ago we tried to get Ogimura to come here, but he went to Sweden instead. Then we got more funding from the Lottery and Sport England, so we decided to go for the very best. That meant Soren. Success will take years, although we have high hopes for a 15-year-old lad called Dale Barham, and 16-year-old Katie Parker. Her mother is Jill Hammersley, our last European champion."

Meantime the sport itself is changing. A Packeresque super league, the Kenshoen, has started in Japan where table tennis is a near-religion.

All the world's most charismatic players have been recruited, with the winner pocketing $1 million.

The one English player invited to join the Kenshoen is Syed, who plays at Buckmore Park this week.

These are busy times for the 30-year-old, since not only does he also play for Caen in the French league, but he is the Labour Party's prospective Parliamentary candidate for Wokingham.

Given that the member is John Redwood, chances are Syed will be able to devote a few more years yet to table tennis. (Even in the dark Tory hours of the 1997 election, the Vulcan's majority was 9,365 over the Liberal Democrats, with Labour a distant third.)

But Syed's charisma wattage is patently dazzling nonetheless.

"'Matt got an Oxford first in politics in economics," glowed Halliday.

"He has been English National champion three times and Commonwealth champion twice, and can do mind-boggling things at the table.

"He is articulate about any subject under the sun. He has the ear of Kate Hoey and is very friendly with Tony Blair. First name terms. Oh yes. He will be Prime Minister one day."

Crikey. So much for the down-at-heel image of table tennis.

For a look at the next PM-but-three, get on down to Buckmore Park.

In world politics, it's a happening place.