The First XI of Shame United

Lee Bowyer
Newcastle United, 26, £30,000 a week. FORM: Fined £4,500 for hurling chairs at two Asian workers in a McDonald's restaurant, having said he would not be served by a 'Paki'. Former girlfriend Emma Keeney alleged he dumped her after discovering she was half-Indian and feared they might have a 'brown baby'.
Cleared of assaulting Asian student Sarfraz Najeib, Bowyer - who insists he is not a racist - is still serving a six-match European football ban after stamping on the head of a Spanish opponent during a match while he was playing for Leeds.

Rio Ferdinand
Manchester United, 24, £100,000 a week.
FORM: True, he did pass that FA drug test when he eventually deigned to take it. But he has moved from a year-long ban after a drinkdriving conviction, via a group-sex video made on holiday in Ayia Napa, Cyprus, with Dyer and Lampard. In April, giving evidence in the attempted-rape trial of another man, he admitted to a drinking binge in which he jumped up and down on a Range Rover. He allegedly behaved lecherously towards women in a nightclub and had to be prevented from taking girls into male toilet cubicles. He's also been banned from driving for six months, and accused of manhandling a hotel employee at a training camp.

Jonathan Woodgate
Newcastle United, 23, weekly wage £40,000.
FORM: Woodgate developed his fighting skills while still young, getting a caution, aged 14, for headbutting another boy in his hometown, Middlesbrough. He was then arrested, but not charged, for allegedly assaulting a Middlesbrough student, before making the bad-boy big-time when accused of assaulting Asian student Sarfraz Najeib. Found guilty of affray in December 2001, he was ordered to do 100 hours'community service and pay legal bills of £1million. He was then banned from the Teesside University student union bar for causing trouble after a student, rash enough to ask for his autograph, found Woodgate grabbing his throat, swearing at him. Last year, he suffered a broken jaw when attacked on a night out, and this year there were allegations that he had been involved in yet more pub trouble.

Mark Bosnich
Formerly Aston Villa, Manchester United, Chelsea. Now unemployed. 31. Earned £42,000 a week.
FORM: Once made a Hitler salute to supposedly Jewish Spurs fans. Arrested hours before his 1999 marriage to Sarah Jarrett for allegedly assaulting a photographer outside a lap-dancing club. Last year, his cocaine habit saw him kicked out of Chelsea and banned for nine months by the FA.

Michael Duberry
Leeds United, 27, £10,000 a week.
FORM: Having seen team-mate Jonathan Woodgate in the street on the night an Asian student was assaulted, Duberry lied to police in an attempt to cover up his pal's involvement.
He was later acquitted of attempting to pervert the course of justice and acted as a prosecution witness in the second assault trial of his team-mates Woodgate and Lee Bowyer.
This year, he was a witness, along with Rio Ferdinand, in a rape trial, in which it was alleged he had put his hand up a 22-year-old woman's skirt (Duberry was cleared).

Dennis Wise
Millwall, aged 36, £10,000 a week.
FORM: Very much a fatherfigure to today's football reprobates, Wise has a record going back to the Thatcher era, having been fined £150 in 1988 for damaging a car. In 1990 he picked up that allimportant driving ban for refusing to take a breathalyser test. In 1995, he was sentenced to three months for assaulting a taxidriver before being acquitted on appeal. Often portrayed as a chirpy little fellow, popular with team-mates for his changing-room japes, Wise was less friendly to Leicester City team-mate Callum Davidson, breaking his jaw during a pre-season tour. Leicester sacked him and Wise had the brass nerve to claim wrongful dismissal - smashing a colleague's face was not, in his opinion, a sackable offence.

ON THE BENCH

Paul Merson (Walsall), 35, celebrated Arsenal goals with a lagerdrinking salute until his confessions of alcohol, drugs and gambling addictions made that 'joke' a lot less funny. His repentance earned him respect, as did his performances for Portsmouth last season as they gained promotion to the Premiership.

Duncan Ferguson (Everton), 31. Four assault convictions and 44 days in Glasgow's Barlinnie Jail. Grabbed headlines after two separate struggles with burglars in his Merseyside home. One thief, Carl Bishop, threatened to sue Ferguson, claiming he had been assaulted while going about his robbery.

Trevor Sinclair (Manchester City), 30. When playing for West Ham, followed the club's 1998 Christmas party at Romford's Secrets nightclub by jumping on a a car driven by 19-year-old beauty therapist Belinda Knowles, leaving her shocked and frightened. He was fined £250, and ordered to pay £225.85 in compensation.

THE MANAGER

Sven-Goran Eriksson, Swedish bad boy, stole his girlfriend Nancy dell'Olio from her husband then cheated on her with fellow Swede Ulrika Jonsson.

THE COACH

Graham Rix. This father of four pleaded guilty in February 1999 to having sex with an under-age girl, having seduced a 15-year-old. After serving time in jail, he resumed his Chelsea career.

THE CHAIRMAN

In 1998, Freddy Shepherd (Newcastle), got drunk in a Spanish club, hired local tarts, claimed Newcastle women were dogs, the club's fans were idiots and Alan Shearer was as boring as Mary Poppins.

AND WE'VE EVEN GOT THE TV MATCH PUNDIT

Ally McCoist, former Rangers and Scotland striker, now a broadcaster, was kicked out of his marriage and home after affairs with Patsy Kensit and air hostess Donna Giblin.