Russian roulette time

Money can be a blessing or a curse. Quite which it will be at Chelsea remains an open question. Last season with no cash and no new blood beyond the mediocre Enrique de Lucas the existing squad was forced to buckle down and perform. And they did. It's crucial that spirit isn't lost in an orgy of megabucks deals. But yesterday Chelsea's new owner showed his hand - and it's undeniably impressive.

Dennis should hang his head in shame

Dennis Bergkamp's agent Rob Jansen says Arsenal's offer, rumoured to be north of £700,000 a year, is "too embarrassing for words".

Well, mate, I find your attitude pretty embarrassing, too. Fourteen grand a week seems like quite a wedge to most of us. Personally I'd love to be "embarrassed" by such a proposition.

And before you reply that Bergkamp is a star footballer and I'm not, let's get real about that, too. He's 34 and been moving over the hill for a few seasons now.

He's unlikely to be much more than a bit-part player next season, especially given his fear of flying. Suddenly two grand a day doesn't seem too bad, does it?

Tennis must hit back at drugs peril

For years tennis has covered up on drugs, a fact made glaringly obvious by the admission it could be the supplements regime dictated by official ATP trainers that's been responsible for the spate of recent positive tests.

Right back to the days of Mats Wilander, Petr Korda and the tragic Vitas Gerulaitis, both recreational and performance-enhancing doping has been overlooked throughout the world game.

The time for an open, objective and entirely independent testing and regulatory regime has surely arrived. Without it, world tennis will soon hit a scandal it can't turn a Nelsonian blind eye to.

Don't judge the bookish by his cover

When Sven-Goran Eriksson arrived he seemed different from the rest of them. Earnest, bookish even, softly spoken, well-dressed and modest, a real gent in fact. Ever been had? We have been. Eriksson turns out to be like everyone else in football: greedy and apparently always available if the price is right.

Even his £2million-plus contract with the FA wasn't enough. He went round advertising all manner of products for fat fees. And after some highly questionable interaction with Manchester United, he's now brazen (or crass) enough to walk into Roman Abramovich's apartment.

Just a couple of old mates having a chat, was it? Don't make me laugh. As far as I'm concerned, whether Sven goes now or later, he was plying for hire just as much as if he'd put on a negligee and sat in his front room window with a red light behind him.

Low marks for Leeds

Leeds chairman Professor John McKenzie wouldn't pass too many exams with his handling of the Harry Kewell transfer.

He's spitting fire and brimstone at Kewell's agent for taking £2million of the £5m on offer from Liverpool, but who let him do it? Why Leeds United of course. Offer an agent two bars and he'll take it, no surprises there.

Methinks the good professor protests too much. The truth is the Kewell transfer has been a done deal for weeks now - which incidentally is why Chelsea couldn't get in on this particular act - and if McKenzie says any different, let him pursue Liverpool for an illegal approach. But of course he won't because, as Anfield has made clear, it wasn't.

The sad reality is that even in a depressed transfer market, Leeds have let yet another star go for a song.

Clearly, rampant mismanagement at Elland Road is not yet a thing of the past.

Sisters fail final test

I thought I would test the market, and last Friday offered my two best debenture seats for the Wimbledon women's final to half a dozen agencies.

Most of them turned me down flat. One offered what in normal times would be a derisory £600, less than debenture seats cost.

An all-Williams final isn't box office, and having watched it, we all know why.

I have been to more atmospheric funerals. No one quite believes it's for real. And I fear for the credibility of the women's singles, already deeply uncompetitive, if it happens again.

The seeding committee could ensure it doesn't. In the men's championship they reserve the right to seed according to their own whims regardless of ATP rankings. As a result, Tim Henman - who is ATP ranked 29 - was actually seeded 10th. However, in the women's they slavishly follow the world rankings.

Next year they'd be well advised to ensure the Williams sisters have to meet, if at all, before the grand finale.