Quins turn Irish party into a wake

'Early in the season we were the bully boys, physically we were all over teams. Now we are being bullied, losing so much ball in the collision and the breakdown.

'Today we suffered from stage-fright, but we need that great crowd to keep coming down here and supporting us.'

The great pity yesterday was that, amid a Celtic carnival atmosphere, neither side could offer much in the way of on-field entertainment.

There were knock-ons and foul-ups aplenty, line- outs which went anywhere but to the intended jumper, and a general nervousness about proceedings which reminded everyone of exactly what was at stake.

Relegation may well kill whichever professional club happens to fall that way this season, barring another bit of jiggery-pokery to keep everyone together for another year, and the prospect of Irish going down prompted a sympathetic response from Harlequins.

Mark Evans, joint chief executive and head coach, said: 'I'm on record many times saying that relegation is bonkers and I will never, ever change that view - because I'm right. I think it's nonsense to be even thinking of letting a club like this go out of the Premiership.'

That is a view which would undoubtedly have found many supporters in the bars which stayed open long after full-time at the Madejski. The Irish ballads being churned out were accompanied by a mournful-sounding choir of fans - at least until the drink anaesthetised them from reality.

A temporary touch of depression was entirely understandable given events leading up to last night's wake, Irish never having looked like winning, even when they went 3- 0 up thanks to a Barry Everitt penalty after nine minutes.

By half-time Quins were 7-3 up, Will Greenwood demonstrating his class by finishing from close range and Paul Burke converting. The visitors never looked back.

Even when the impressive Burke was removed from proceedings with a dead leg, Quins were not knocked out of their stride, Williams taking over kicking duties as his forwards won an ugly battle for territory and possession.

Evans believes his team need only two more points to guarantee safety but, assessing the situation in the wrong half of the table, he said: 'The bottom six will be stabbing each other with anything that comes to hand, because they are all desperate not to finish 12th.

'It's great for us to get the monkey off our backs by winning away. What mattered today was the result - no one is going to remember the silly knock-ons and mistakes come June, when someone has been relegated.'