Princess? It's David ... for the 20th time today

Then Beckham can concentrate on completing his transition from Manchester United star to the Real thing by effecting the family move to Spain that he and Victoria have decided is absolutely essential to success.

Former Spice Girl Victoria, who is due to record another album, is also pursuing an acting career - after some encouragement from those in the business - that could make Hollywood a possibility.

But Beckham insisted: 'We'll all be living in Madrid once we've found a house. Victoria will obviously have to travel from time to time with her work. But we'll both learn Spanish - me at first and then Victoria when she has the time.'

Given that Y Viva Espana was a bit before her time, Mrs B will probably find herself falling behind quick young learners Romeo and Brooklyn, who has already left one piece of Manchester behind.

Brooklyn has ditched his replica United shirt for the pure white of you-know-who, with Beckham joking: 'He only wants to wear what his daddy wears.'

But even though the latest recruit to Madrid's 'Los Galacticos' claims he 'feels like he has been at the club for years' - it is closer to a month - it will take Beckham a long time to get Old Trafford out of his system.

It was at United that he went from shy apprentice to master footballer and A-plus celebrity, and. While the scenes that surround him now are bizarre, he says he does not miss his 'old Ford Escort too much'.

Real did not realise the phenomenon they were helping to develop when they persuaded him to abandon the Stretford End for the Bernabeu, and still do not if their latest PR gaffe in Hong Kong is any indication.

They left hundreds of fans in the lurch yesterday after cancelling a training session and Beckham failed to turn up for a subsequent Press conference.

But the England skipper seems to have taken the whole circus in his stride, with the help of constant cellphone contact with his wife. His new team-mates, while taken aback at the scale of the thing, have embraced the newcomer. He enjoys the banter with old pal Roberto Carlos - 'maybe he'll be pushing to take the free-kicks after my goal in Tokyo' - and cites the Brazil left back and striker Ronaldo as 'always having a laugh and making me feel welcome'.

Whether Real Madrid will ever learn to accept that what they have on their hands is no mere footballer remains to be seen. And it is to be hoped that Beckham will be allowed to speak more often and openly.

His diplomatic attempts to respect Madrid's worries about over-exposure, while at the same time communicating with his English fans, may be sneered at by some but it is a dilemma that Real must face.

In the meantime, he retains his sense of humour.

On the compromise Q&A sheet that still kept him onside with the club, Essex boy Beckham said what he missed most was 'pie and mash and jellied eels'.

We'll take that with a large pinch of salt, David - oh, and that will be Victoria on the phone.