Outer space team can't match BBC

13 April 2012

It was the semifinals of the FA Cup - this year sponsored by AXA, who knows how long before Ronseal? - and it was heartwarming to have the old cliches rolling forth from the TV screen.

Before very much grass had been trodden at Old Trafford, we were being reminded that what we were watching was a "cruel game".

Even when players were hacking at each other with agricultural intent on the greensward of Villa Park, there was always the "romance" of the spectacle to consider. "Underdogs" abounded in both games, easily recognisable by their snappings and snarlings.

Whenever fate intervened in its implacable garb of unsentimentality, the pundits retreated to the unassailable philosophical position: "that's football".

Yes, the cup was back and not only was it being contested by football teams, but also by competing broadcasters. Sky Sports 2 kicked off first, providing us with a whole hour of preamble.

Their pre-match pundits were Frank McClintock and Gary Pallister, and as a pair of estimable central defenders, they made a commendable job of shutting the door on any attacking moves from the twin strike force of humour and wit.

In a move that smacked of desperation, champion jockey Tony McCoy was allowed to witter on about his deep love of Arsenal, which was based on the fact that a pair of fellow Irishmen, Liam Brady and Pat Jennings had fired his youthful fancy.

BBC1, covering the London derby at Villa Park between Fulham and Chelsea, was on much firmer footing. They have the introductory music which is now ingrained on the national psyche. After the music comes Gary Lineker, and close behind him, Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson, another centre-back pairing, occasionally capable of lifting their game above the mundane.

In short, the BBC still do this type of thing far better than their rivals from outer space. The problem is that this particular type of occasion is fast losing its appeal. For all the false hysteria which both channels attempted to whip up, there was no disguising the fact that this is a second-rate competition.

Both the winners of yesterday's ties will be hoping to enter the Champions League rather than the UEFA Cup. The FA Cup, whoever sponsors it, can only be saved from terminal decline by allowing the winner to compete in the Champions League, in place of one of the highest placed Premiership sides if need be.

Apart from anything else, if this does not happen soon, Sky's Andy Gray's misplaced enthusiasm will have him bedridden with a hernia, while the BBC's Trevor Brooking will have fallen into a deep sleep.

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Outer space team can't match BBC

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