Martin Chilton's Football Notebook

14 April 2012

Just to show that you can get a laugh from the Wimbledon situation, comedians Mark Thomas and Kevin Day head a fund-raising night for the Dons Trust at Wimbledon Theatre on Saturday 30 November.

The groundswell of support for the breakaway Dons demonstrates how cheesed off ordinary fans are at the way they are treated by club owners.

Channel 4 star Thomas said: "It is absolutely fantastic that supporters have chosen to go with their local team rather than just going along with big business. Most supporters are treated as cash cows by the major clubs and so the fact that people have taken control is wonderful and represents one of the most exciting things to happen in football in years.

"I do expect that in a few years to come the Dons will have done so well I will be criticising them."

Money from the show will go to the 'Playing For Keeps Appeal'. Details from box office on 020 8540 0362.

Des larging it to the Max

Big Night Out 2 . . . Des Lynam features in an eclectic celebration night later this month missing only Fat Ron Atkinson on vocals. Perhaps ITV presenter Lynam can persuade the portly pundit to join a star-studded variety bill at the Theatre Royal in Brighton - alongside George Melly and the Feetwarmers and Adam Faith - in a concert to honour famous comedian Max Miller. The Let's Make It Stand Up For Max night is on Sunday, 24 November, with details from the box office on 01273 328488.

Too lippy by half

Dutch footballer Martin Bennink has been banned for eight weeks after kissing a referee full on the mouth after being sent off.

The Dutch FA said it was "an assault on the dignity of a referee". The Wilhelminaschool player said: "When I get screwed I like a kiss too."

James becomes political animal

Footballer gets political alert. "Maybe it's time all the players, particularly the senior ones at West Ham, took responsibility and remembered the drive and hard work that got us to this level of the game in the first place. Maybe we should think about the firefighters who have had to go out on strike to try to get wages of £30,000 a year. I have had gardeners asking for more than the firemen earn at the moment and they don't have to risk their lives." My name is David James. Goodnight.

Shy Sol on a roll

Arsenal's Sol Campbell is not gay, he tells the Mirror, just shy with women.

What else do we learn in "The most revealing interview with a Premiership footballer"? That Arsenal and England's Campbell is "running out of loo roll". We await the denial. It's just paper talk.

No pleasing some people

In a wonderful understated post-match comment, the unnamed Arbroath manager declared himself "satisfied" with his team's performance after their 36-0 win over Bon Accord in the first round of the Scottish Cup in 1885. This is still a world-record win in an official match.

Just to show that nothing much changes, the report from the time in the Highland Post said: "Some questionable decisions were made by the referee in Arbroath's favour." All this can be found in Football The Beautiful Game (Flame Tree Publishing, £20).

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