He said: "I'm missing them all but I have to do this. I miss my baby, Maliha, very much because at five months they change so fast and I'm missing out on things. And Nubia doesn't like it when her daddy can't tuck her in at night. But I have to cut myself off. I have to get the meanness, the anger, to come out and I can't do that when I see the people I love the most. If they were around me I'd go back to how I normally am. But I don't want to be that way now, I want to be vicious.