Let's legalise drugs

So why not be honest? Legalise drugs for anyone over 18. Make sure people are fully informed about health hazards, as they are with cigarettes. Punish anyone whose drug-taking harms another person, like a stoned driver, or a crack-fuelled mugger. Then trust citizens to run their own lives.

It should not be beyond the Professional Footballers' Association to ensure that footballers can never be pressured into taking substances against their will, or the interests of their health. Many players would surely choose not to use dangerous drugs. After all, they're cutting down on the booze and the fags. But unless we forget the posturing, the politics and the hypocrisy and bring the whole subject out into the open, how will we ever know?

Hearts bleed for agents under threat

No sooner had Jermain Defoe put in his mistimed transfer request than the raging tornado they call Trevor Brooking was angrily laying the blame on Defoe's agent. But look at it from the agent's point of view. With the collapse of the transfer market, the 20-per-cent brigade don't know where the next seven-figure commission, or £1.75m payment for finding Rio Ferdinand's phone number, is coming from.

Profits and shares are tumbling. Very soon they'll be down to their last Porsche and selling their second homes.

The hordes of unemployed ex-merchant bankers wandering the streets of Fulham and Notting Hill could be joined by footy agents fallen on hard times. So please, take pity on this threatened species. Okay, so they're trying to destroy your favourite football clubs, but how else can they survive?

Face up to age-old rule, Seaman

David Seaman was doubtless too busy celebrating Arsenal's FA Cup win and his own great save from Brett Ormerod to watch BBC2 on Saturday night. As a result, he missed the documentary about the great Egyptian pharaoh Rameses II. At a time when life-expectancy was 35, Rameses staggered on to the age of 93. By then, this once-mighty, virile warrior was a toothless cripple. Twelve of his sons had died before him, leaving the kingdom without a strong leader.

A man can hang on for too long. Seaman has had a wonderful career. But he should take Sven-Goran Eriksson's and Arsene Wenger's hints and retire.

The same goes for Alec Stewart and his determination to cling to his place as England wicketkeeper. These proud men have served with dignity and honour. But enough is enough. It's time to give youth a chance.

Black mark for the new Becks barnet

Is it because he is Becks? Inspired by a recent Channel 4 documentary that claimed he was culturally black, Snoop Doggy Dave has just unveiled his new "cornrows".

I reckon it was Stevie Wonder, who brought cornrows into the public domain, on the cover of his god-like 1972 album Talking Book. And he looked great.

Why? Because unlike David Beckham, Stevie's not just culturally black, he's actually black.

And cornrows, like whopping gold rings, Kangols and anything ever worn by Kool and the Gang are among the many, many fashion styles in which black guys look way cooler than white guys.

There must, I imagine, be a look for which the reverse applies. But I'm damned if I can think of it right now.

Boys can play at Annika's game as well

Annika Sorenstam, the world No 1 female golfer, is competing against men this week in Texas.

"I want to test myself and face a new challenge," she says. Some male golfers have been up in arms at letting a woman into their show, an attitude for which female columnists (including our own Clare Balding) have been quick to condemn them, mocking the men's phallic insecurity.

Me, I'm all for equality. If Ms Sorenstam wants to play with the boys, fine. I just hope my female colleagues will be equally broad-minded when a man decides that he wants to test himself by playing in a women's tournament.

Or will we suddenly discover that in golf, as in so much else, equality only cuts one way?