Ipswich humble a friendly enemy

'There are no egos here,' said the striker after scoring his 15th goal of the season. 'Most of the team have spent their careers in the lower leagues and knew what to expect.

'I have played most of my life at places like this. Actually, I have played on far worse pitches than this, like at Twerton for four years when I was with Bristol Rovers.'

As recent comers to the Premier League, Ipswich exhibited no delusions of grandeur. You need not attitude but the right attitude to survive FA Cup third-round trips to non-league outposts like Christie Park.

We had been transported not to the Third World or even Thora Hird World but to a land and time of brass bands, majorettes and young urchins being lifted over turnstiles. The lack of a ticket did not seem an impediment to entry, as one wheelchair fan discovered.

'I am disabled, I do not need a ticket,' he told a gate steward before receiving the nod. The similarly ticketless man behind was admitted as the pusher, as was a third individual. 'I'm carrying his blanket,' he stated gleefully.

Stewart found the Morecambe defence just as accommodating when he was permitted free passage by the home defence for a 14th-minute goal which stunned locals and passing shock seekers.

The home team enjoyed their best spell thereafter though claims of a penalty when Quayle fell in the box were greatly exaggerated. Ryan Zico Black, of the Guernsey Zico Blacks, proved the incumbrance of a famous name when missing a good opportunity to level.

Morecambe played a neat passing game. But Ipswich were neater, better passers and, decisively, much fitter. The second half was a dreadfully one- sided affair as Ipswich kept the ball and kept running.

Alun Armstrong's header from an excellent run and cross by Fabian Wilnis ensured victory, while a Jer-maine Wright third confirmed the margin of superiority.

George Burley described the Conference team as 'smashing' with apparently no tease intended in the direction of Jim Bowen, the comic and Morecambe president. But he spoke more highly of the groundsman and that was about right because this could have proved to be a far trickier afternoon for the visitors had they not been afforded a decent playing surface to apply their superior skill.

Harvey, though, was lavish in his praise of Burley and the job he is doing under financial constraints. 'He's right up there with Alan Curbishley and David Moyes as managers doing brilliantly with a limited budget,' said Harvey.

It was perhaps not the greatest day for such a comparison with Curbishley's Charlton needing a late goal to deny Dagenham & Redbridge and Moyes' Preston side losing at home in the Cup to Stock-port County.

'George does not spend millions of pounds,' pointed out Harvey. 'He has got quite a few English boys in his team. They are not a side of household names but he has got them drilled as a cohesive unit. Their work rate is fantastic.'

Bowen, who had bought a new Morecambe scarf for the occasion, ran out of laughs just as the home players ran out of steam, almost as if he had exhausted his joke book in promoting the tie and the town. Perhaps there was something prophetic in his very willing ramblings about a brown envelope, a black referee and a plan to dye his red and white scarf blue and white.

The man who once said 'smashing' a staggering 43 times during a single half-hour Bullseye quiz programme struggled to say it even once. But he did think the occasion 'super' and 'great'. He was not alone.

The television gantries were dismantled, the Match of the Day cameras departed, and favours were removed from the promenade statue of Eric Morecambe until the next time the seaside resort earn the right to raise a 'Wha'Hey!' at the increasingly grim seriousness of our national sport.

For the moment, Ipswich and Morecambe go their separate, yet contrasting ways to parallel but wildly diverse Cup ties tomorrow night.

Ipswich face Birmingham in the semi-final of the Worthington Cup while Morecambe take on Radcliffe Borough in the Lancashire League Trophy.

The words earth and bump spring to mind. Not 'Wha'Hey!'