But today his true feelings about being dumped became clear. Hensonwho is preparing to face Southland-for the Lions midweek team in Invercargill tomorrow, said: "When Clive read out the team for the Southland game I was absolutely devastated and had a sleepless night. It was really hard to take in because I thought I had a chance of making the Test side, or at least the 22, so to be told I wasn't involved came as such a shock.