Greg's cry for help

14 April 2012

Ultimately nothing so became Greg Rusedski this Wimbledon as the manner in which he departed it. No doubt that will sound nonsense to those whose last saw him raging at the Centre Court umpire for supposedly causing his second round defeat to Andy Roddick, 7-6,7-6, 7-5.

But an hour after that humiliation, it was a different Rusedski who acknowledged his self-inflicted defeat, apologising repeatedly, and attempting to explain the huge frustrations behind his fury.

This was a man looking down the barrel of his 30th birthday in September, knowing his litany of injuries may stop him ever playing at Wimbledon again. He was close to breaking down, and patently had already shed tears. Yet his priorities were praising Roddick and owning up to his own inadequacies.

"Andy deserved to win," he said, the peak of his baseball cap pulled low over his hollow eyes. "I apologise for my language. I do regret it. It was not necessary.

"I'm devastated to have lost. I have no one to blame but myself. I was desperate to go as far as I could. Sometimes your emotions can take control of you because you want it so badly, when you have to let go what you can't control. Unfortunately, I didn't manage to do that."

The moment for which the match will be remembered came in the third set when Rusedski was leading 5-2. At 30-15 on Roddick's serve, Rusedski returned a forehand and a member of the crowd called it out. Rusedski, thinking the call was from a linesman, turned away as Roddick tapped the ball back over the net. Umpire Lars Graff awarded the point to Roddick and Rusedski exploded.

But Graff was right. The rules state: "Calls of 'out' from spectators are not considered a hindrance and the point should stand as played."

Meanwhile, Rusedski was digging his own grave. He should have concentrated on holding his own serve.

"F*****g ridiculous!" he spat, flinging his racket to the ground. "I can't do anything if the crowd f*****g calls it. Some w****r in the crowd changes the whole match and you allow it to happen. It's absolute s**t."

His game fell to pieces. Roddick broke to love, reeling off five games to wrap the match up. The one thought which had kept Rusedski going during nine long months of injury - Wimbledon - was gone, maybe forever. The last time he had played before injury was at the US Open, where he lost ignominiously to the eventual champion Pete Sampras and made some ill-advised remarks about him. Now it was another exit.

"I lost it," he said, looking ashamed. "When people in the crowd call out, that's just the way tennis goes. Then I rushed instead of taking my time. That's a mistake I make too often.

"I've had difficult experiences in my last two Grand Slams. Pete proved me wrong. I regret saying what I did about him. He's a great champion. The nine months I've been through, you can't imagine what it's like. But Andy deserved to win. He can go all the way. But I shouldn't make predictions."

He managed a smile at that. But he was correct in his assessment. He played well, but it never seemed likely that he could overpower Roddick as he did at Wimbledon last year.

Ultimately it is Rusedski's sadness which will stay in the memory, not his anger. Asked if he still believes he can win a Slam, he did not say no. But his honesty was still unbearable.

"Well," he hesitated, "I thought I had a phenomenal chance at the US Open. I felt I was playing my best tennis. That's really what bore the huge frustrations I've had over time."

So many imponderables. If he had let that point go against Roddick yesterday and held his serve, could he really have won? Could his battered body really have won the title?

Sport is full of such musings. So many challengers who yearn for the glittering prizes. So few who win them. Remember that today, when you think about Greg Rusedski.

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