Football Notebook

Notebook gave the thumbs down to George Best's 219th biography, Scoring at Half-Time, when it came out in hardback as it was a rehash of old stories stitched together with as much finesse as Frankenstein's neck.
Imagine our surprise, then, to see a blurb on the front cover of the paperback edition saying: "You'll love this" (Evening Standard). It turns out publishers Random House were (mis)quoting the Standard's deputy book editor Katie Campbell, who reviewed it for our Metro Life magazine.
She was no more enamoured of the book and actually wrote: "If you believe in fairy tales, you'll love this one."
Tut, tut.

Celebrating the bad times

Hands up anyone who was sorry to see Leeds go down. Certainly not some fans of the Bournemouth Supporters' Club with memories of the time 14 years ago when Leeds hooligans ran riot in the Dorset resort. They held a boozy celebration and dozens of Bournemouth fans who attended were even given paper hats with the words "Leeds United Relegation Party" as they watched a re-run of the Yorkshire side's game at Bolton . . . a 4-1 defeat that condemned Leeds to Division One.

See this - it's Wenger losing

At Chepstow last week, the new French horse Wenger ran in the 2.05 Countryside Alliances Novices Chase.
Alas, the French horse did not complete the 2m4f race, as he was pulled up near the start.
When asked for a reaction, the horse is believed to have said he simply did not see the finishing line.

What a cheap shot, Claudio

One place Claudio Ranieri is unlikely to get a job is in Scotland. He told the "sharks" at his press conference last week: "Before you kill me, you call me the 'dead man walking'. I must buy you an espresso. But only a little one - I am Scottish!"

Rio's squiff-squiddle riddle

BOOK CLUB 23: Rio Ferdinand. Much is perhaps explained by the Manchester United's choice of Roald Dahl's Big Friendly Giant as his favourite book.
The Giant, who is addicted to his own strange green fizzy Frobscottle drink, shares Rio's problem with perfect communication. "I is speaking the most terrible wigglish. I know exactly what words I am wanting to say, but somehow or other they is always getting squiff-squiddles," says the whizz-popping BFG.