Football Notebook

The much-maligned nodding dog of football, Phil Neal, has made a welcome return to the limelight. Neal could once have won any 'show us your medals' contest hands down with his eight league championship, four European Cup and four League Cup winners' medals . . . before he sold them at Christie's auction to "secure the future of his five grandchildren".
But it is in the field of football tactics that Neal achieved cult status when his "bold move boss" catchphrase as No2 to Graham Taylor became etched on the football consciousness. After a spell drifting around the veterans five-a-side circuit, Neal has reappeared as an expert on You're on Sky Sports.
Alas, some people tucked up in bed for the late-night dissection of England-Macedonia would have missed a few of his gems. The England players "must hold their own minds" he boldly asserted. They must stop making "blunderous" tackles, he said - a marvellously blundering addition to the English language. But he saved the best for his verdict on the trip to Turkey next month. It was a worry, Neal admitted. "There could be fatalities - or even worse, injuries."

Paolo's mixed messages

Paolo Di Canio gave a little wave to fans outside a Charlton pub as he left The Valley in his Mercedes after Saturday's defeat by Manchester United. His companion quickly made him aware that the away supporters were actually singing: "F*** Off, Di Canio" to his signature tune. The excitable Italian swiftly returned the greeting with a fine two-fingered salute. This prompted a round of applause and a bewildered Di Canio waved again and drove off.

Pires-baiting fans getting in on the act

A number of readers have e-mailed to put forward the idea that Robert "I'm not a cheat" Pires should take up acting, suggesting he stars in remakes of Legends of the Fall or the Fall Guy. Supporters being as they are, an Arsenal fan counters that if he really wanted to experience what it's like to dive, dive, dive the Frenchman would have joined Tottenham.

Seaman's latest pony-tail has an unhappy ending

David Seaman doesn't like the Standard because he thinks we repeatedly take the mickey out of his Barbie ponytail. The Yorkshireman was on a charm offensive in the Guardian (he gave no less than 32 ha-ha-ha's and he-he-he's while guffawing at his own Yorkshire 'humour'). The ponytail was mentioned, of course. His daughter Georgina brushes it. Endearing or greasy image. You decide.

Posh is in his good books

Book club 5: David Beckham
The highlights of My Side (CollinsWillow, £18.99) will have to wait until next week's Notebook but it comes highly-recommended . . . by Beckham himself. Amid the canapés, potted palms and chandeliers at his Madrid book launch, the Real star was asked what the book meant to him. "People like reading a nice story and it is a nice story," he said. Asked what was his favourite book, he replied: "This one," and when told to try again he volunteered: "Well, my wife's one."