Football Notebook

Step aside Eric Cantona and Vinnie Jones, a new footballer-luvvie is in town. Former Arsenal striker Nicolas Anelka is going to be in a big budget French film and, no, it's not a silent movie.

Fulham players enjoyed their post-season trip to Southern Florida. After beating Miami Fusion 5-0, the players were allowed a night off at some of the beachside bars in Fort Lauderdale and South Beach. Some of the younger players were surprised at the strict ID laws in the States to prevent under-age drinking (it's common for youngsters to show their passports to prove they are old enough to buy a drink) so it was no surprise that old man Kit Symons was pushed to the front of the queue to do the talking.
Incidentally, when they arrived at the Hilton hotel in Sunrise, the management thoughtfully put out a banner to greet them: "Welcome Fulham Futbol Club!"

Alex Ferguson, who stood by Eric Cantona after his famous kung-fu kick, praised Tony Blair as a good egg for sticking up for John Prescott. Blair happily jumps on the football bandwagon but is Prescott a football fan? The man who turned down the chance to be guest of honour at Chelsea's Coca-Cola Cup Final in 1998 was asked by Notebook's lobby spy? "No, I'm more of a rugby league man," the great pugilist replied.

David Icke is unlikely to be a guest at David Seaman's testimonial against Barcelona tonight.
Icke criticised the England and Arsenal goalkeeper for his mistakes in the FA Cup Final against Liverpool saying: "Arsenal might have won the Cup if Seaman had closed his legs."
Icke was once a normal television presenter (it's all relative, of course) and an aspiring goalkeeper, but is now a turquoise guru with a large cult following who believe his ideas about a global conspiracy of lizards ruling the world.
Interesting as it was to hear his ideas about Seaman's technical flaws, it would have been nice to know which particular reptiles he thought had mated to produce the Pony Tailed One.

The next influx of highly motivated foreign stars has begun. Arsenal are ready to spend £5.7m on Jerzy Dudek, who declares that going to Highbury would be a "dream move" only 14 months after saying the same about the prospect of a transfer to Old Trafford.
Meanwhile, Tottenham's incoming defender Goran Bunjevcevic, who was met by John Gorman at Heathrow, grinned away as he said he was happy to be joining "one of the greatest clubs in England".
The Yugoslav, already dubbed Bungyjumper by the Spurs players, added that he hopes Sol Campbell remains because: "If he stays, there is a great chance to play in the Champions League or UEFA Cup."
Do you think Spurs have explained exactly how the qualification process works?

In the Eighties, every self-respecting footballer's house contained a snooker table. In the Nineties it was a home cinema and games room. Now the status symbol is a luxury conservatory. Even Duncan Ferguson has one - it was in the conservatory that Big Dunc started his famous headbutting discussion with a burglar.
All of which brings us to the weekend's most ludicrous column. The Sunday Times Property section had a big colour blurb saying: "Graeme Le Saux has advice for those planning to build a conservatory."
What next, Dennis Wise on how to kick down a lean-to?