Football Notebook

How strange life must be for David Beckham. Only three years ago he was slated in the press and booed at English grounds every time he touched the ball. Now fans are worshipping him and reporters falling over themselves to praise him.

Sotheby's are auctioning 11 life-size waxwork models, left over after the closure of the ill-fated Premier League Hall of Fame, on 21 September. Maybe we're being sold a dummy, but there were reports that bids for the footballers would reach £10,000 each.
Notebook is intrigued to know if anyone really will pay that much for a cross-eyed Tony Adams, a David Seaman who looks like a cross between Hitler and Boycie out of Only Fools and Horses, a Mark Hughes who resembles actor Colin Firth and an Alan Shearer who seems to be a hybrid of David Batty and Joe Bugner?

Lots of celebrating but anyone with a hangover would not have wanted to wake up to UK Horizons on Sunday morning. There was Jonathan Pearce screeching, "If in doubt, clout it Matilda!" as he commentated on Robotwars. This bizarre four-hour programme shows homemade robots, made out of old hoovers and such, clattering into each other and racing round obstacle courses. Pearce said: "Robotwars is great fun and it takes me away from football, which is becoming so cynical.
"You've still got fantastic competition in Robotwars but it's much more innocent."

After Jaap Stam's book comes the latest literary offering from Victoria Beckham, and it's unlikely to please Alex Ferguson. The Spice Girl alleges that Ferguson is "vindictive" and has never said more than "hello" to her in four years. She recounts an anecdote that, if true, shows the Scotsman in a very bad light. In it, she claims Ferguson tells Beckham he cannot have the time off he wants and must train with the reserves. "Please, Gaffer, I've just got married. All I want is a honeymoon like anyone else. We're totally under siege here. We've just got to get away."
'So get away.' "But you're calling me in for next Saturday."
'That's right.' "But we can't go anywhere in less than a week."
'That's your problem, David, I don't give a ****.'
Victoria better be careful, Fergie will have her transferred to Atomic Kitten.

How did Germany's finest wits respond to a 5- 1 thrashing. Leading German comedian Stefan Raab said: "All we saw was a game between Majorca- North and Majorca-South."
No wonder the Germans drink strong beer.

Following last week's item about David 'Pony-Tail' Seaman and Barbie, reader Lucy Jenkins kindly informs Notebook that for £ 2.95 ( Totally Sports Fashions) you can purchase the Barbie goalkeeper outfit. The little pack contains a keeper's red jersey, a ball and a little pair of football boots. The packet warns: Contains small parts. Let's hope that's Barbie and not Seaman.