Football Notebook

The peculiarly grim charm of the 1970s - Blue Nun, Watergate and all - was brilliantly depicted in Jonathan Coe's novel The Rotters' Club.

But now an obscure Notts County player called David McVay has produced a wonderfully earthy account of just how different life was for footballers of the time than for today's pampered poseurs.

McVay's book is called Steak Diana Ross, Diary of a Football Nobody (The Parrs Wood Press, £9.95) and is based on the diaries he kept as a young player breaking into Jimmy Sirrel's County team in 1974.

Sirrel quickly lets an injured youngster know he is not in for an easy time: "They don't know what a bad ankle is. Jesus, when you can't get the bellbottom trousers on because it's the size of a f****** beach ball, that's a bad ankle."

There seems to have been plenty of boozing, eating junk food and shagging and the gap between the Beckhams of now and the 1970s journeymen pros is summed up by the tale of Gerry Gow rubbing deep heat on his testicles to make him run faster.

Readers of a delicate disposition may want to look away from McVay's summary of his first year as a player. Under the heading: "Bad habits of professional footballers", he lists:
1) Urinating in the bath
2) Urinating over hair when washing it
3) Urinating over body when washing it
4) Dumping in the bath when you are under water rinsing hair, emerging to turd floating close to nostrils
5) Throwing hot tea over naked body
6) Pressing hot spoon against penis The book's title, incidentally, is a reference to the cliché¤ answers footballers gave in questionnaires: Favourite Food? Steak. Favourite Singer? Diana Ross. McVay, a man who likes George Melly and Fairport Convention, submitted an alternative list that the club wouldn't print.

If only a modern pro had the courage to write such a candid book.

Forlan suffers cold feet

Are top stars too pampered? Here's Manchester United's Spanish goalkeeper Ricardo: "When we were sitting on the bench, Diego Forlan complained that his feet were cold. For the next game there was a new carpet on the floor and a heater had been installed to keep our feet hot. Also, if you are ill the club will send a doctor straight to your house and if you need any repairs to your house or furniture the club sends someone round to do it."