Finns are potty about their champion

Try this one for a pre-Christmas quiz. What is the full name of the following person? This is a Finnish world champion whose first name is Mika. He was recently described as the sort of chap who doesn't like to show much - if any - emotion. "He almost never smiles," detailed the observer. "He speaks sparingly, in a desperately monotonous voice. His expressionless eyes never seem to blink. And his face often appears as unbreakable as a slab of slate."

Ha! I hear you cry. I'll name that Finn in one. Mika Hakkinen, right? Close but no cigar. This is another Mika, every bit as charisma-free as his countryman. Meet Mika Immonen, world nine-ball pool champion, the sort of guy specifically not played by Tom Cruise in The Color Of Money. Immonen is talented, dedicated, polite and quite perturbingly clean. One fears Hollywood will never devote so much as one reel of celluloid to this 28-year-old. Can't imagine why.

"People ... from ... Finland ... don't ... like ... small ... talk," droned Immonen, his glassy green eyes unblinking between half-hour pauses. "We are a direct people. We cut to the chase. No bull. In New York, where I live, they sometimes think I'm a bit cold, a bit . . . distant. They notice I'm not from round there. When I know someone I crack jokes. Otherwise I tend to think a lot before I say something. In fact, sometimes I think so much that I don't . . . say . . . anything . . . at all." Then he became silent. QED.

Immonen is a bit of a card by Finnish standards. He was born in London and has lived in New York for two years.

He believes that eating healthily and working out to the point of gasping agony several times a week improves his pool, a sport not renowned for its athletic demands. Mind you, he roguishly admits he likes having big forearms because they (fantastic quote coming) "look nice". He likes screaming his head off on wild funfair rides.

Moreover, he got such a buzz from winning the world title that for a week afterwards he answered the telephone with the words: "Hello, Mika Immonen, world champion."

He also likes slogans, to the point where he reminds you of that line in Postcards From The Edge where Meryl Streep queries of a health freak: "Do you always talk in bumper stickers?" When Immonen works out he wears a T-shirt emblazoned with the words "pure function". And according to his longtime girlfriend Helen Chiang, his favourite competitive slogan is "mercy is a disease". Immonen chuckles in his non-humorous Finnish way when asked about this.

"It's a half-joke," he said unilluminatingly. "I don't want to think of my competitors as friends, although outside the arena I am friends with them. I go to the gym for mental discipline. It gives me an edge over the others. Winning the title was the greatest feeling. For weeks after I won I kept telling myself I am world champion. There are no other Finns on the pool circuit, although pool is becoming a little more popular in Finland because of me. I guess I'm quite famous in Finland. But nothing compared with Mika Hakkinen."