Empty feeling as sausages go cold

I took a long time choosing my tactics for this one. Armchairs are all very well but sometimes it's better not to get out of bed. The thinking was simple: when you are in bed for a game like this, there is not so far to fall when your world comes apart.

In the end, the spirit of St George - a chap who has been completely rehabilitated in the past fortnight - prevailed. I pushed the duvet aside as if it were some idle consolation, and strode downstairs with all the assurance of a seasoned spot-kick specialist.

In nervous times like these, one needs an agony uncle. This is a service that both the BBC and ITV are queueing up to provide. When you are quivering from crown to toe, a wise man is essential. The BBC gave us Hansen, Reid and Wrighty, under the benign supervision of Gary. Just so there was no doubting the gravity of the occasion, Sir Bobby Charlton trotted up on his white horse to add his inimitable qualities of gravitas and decency. He is also a reminder to Beckham of that age old saying: hair today, gone tomorrow.

On the other side, the laconic Des was marshalling his usual motley crew. Sir Bobby and El Tel were sound at the back and Gary Neville made his usual forays down the wing of predictability. He is only there because of his special relationship with Beckham but offers us precisely no insight into his pal. His right foot is stronger than his left, apparently, but his football boots are, at the end of the day, a matching pair.

Then there is Gazza, who has been performing this pundit task for a while but, beyond mastering the art of finding the studio, has not improved one iota.

When it came to the crunch, I plumped for the BBC because that is where Motty lives. Motty is the last boy scout. When he appeared on screen, he seemed to be dressed as if for a first communion. His eyebrows were furrowed as he attempted to unravel the Gordian knot of Brazil's possible midfield ploys. I wanted to shout, "Take a sword to it, Motty," but, to be frank, I was enjoying his discombobulation.

He summed it up: "The moment we've all been waiting for, in many ways, for 32 years." He summed it up again after Owen's goal: "The sausages will be sizzling back home."