Rob Key: Facing fast bowlers is only really enjoyable when it’s over

I was secretly looking forward to facing him because that’s the thing I’m proudest of, more than the runs column — the spells you got through, the top bowlers you faced. I had always backed myself against the quicks, it was the medium-pacers who troubled me.

I was batting No3, and knew that he would only bowl three or four over spells. I was sat there smoking, just praying that the openers got through that first spell. Without realising it I had got through three fags by the time Daniel Bell-Drummond got out — to the last ball of the first over. I just thought “cheers, Deebs”. I still had an old-fashioned helmet, where the gap could fit a ball through it, but I only realised this as I was picking it up to walk out.

But he ran in, and the instincts kicked in — that year I played him and Ryan Harris, who was so quick and underrated, better than the Div Two dobbers.

I made it to 75 and the leg spinner Fawad Ahmed was on. I was pretty happy. Then the wicketkeeper Brad Haddin, who I always thought was a decent bloke, piped up with: “You’ve got a few overs of pepper coming up”. I was 36, and had no chance of playing for England again. I was close to the end of my career. I had a mortgage, and a wife and kids. I just thought, “I don’t get paid enough for this” so went 4, 4, 4, out off Fawad and walked off saying: “I’ve done my bit”. Either I got a hundred in the next few balls or I got out and avoided Johnson — a win-win situation!

But, in truth, it is never as bad as you think it will be. It is nice to get a bouncer early, because you remember that you can actually see the ball. From there, the real trick is to blank your mind as the bowler releases it — to play on instinct and watch the ball.

In that game at Perth, Lee hit Alex Tudor who was trying to think his way through the problem, but your mind can’t work fast enough for it. He thought, “if it is short I’ll get under, and full I’ll get forward”. That is fine until you get one that’s not quite short and not quite full. That’s when he ducked into one.

The Lord’s pitch was the worst type to face proper quicks like Jofra Archer and Pat Cummins, because it was slow. On quick pitches, when it is short you can confidently get out the way because you trust the bounce. But at Lord’s, some were banged in, but did not take off like the one that got Steve Smith.

The reason Archer, who already looks as good as anyone in Test cricket, is so troublesome is that he is as quick full as he is short. He moves the ball and attacks off stump, so you are wary of being bowled, lbw and nicking off.

Some quicks, like Steve Harmison, were horrendous to face, but you could play his length ball from the crease, he didn’t drag you forward. Jofra does. Then when it’s short, with no real change of action, it’s a nightmare because it catches you off guard. That is how he unsettles even the very best batsmen like Smith.