Arsenal are on thin ice

14 April 2012

It was minus five, cold enough even to scare off the snowflakes, and the locals were desperately trying to keep warm by tobogganing down the white hill overlooking the arena. Either that, or they were to be found inside the Olympiastadion itself, 53,000 of them counting on FC Hollywood's leading men to raise the temperature with their version of 'Stars on Ice'.

They were not to be disappointed. Even the huddled bigwigs, the Rummenigges and Beckenbauers, in the VIP enclosure could afford to chuck aside their thoughtfully-provided red blankets to cheer this. For as Borussia Dortmund slid around pathetically, Bayern Munich chose this timely moment to commit their best performance of the season - a 5-0 rout - to celluloid.

Here in Bavaria's winter wonderland, you couldn't help worrying whether this might just be the place where Arsenal could catch a cold tomorrow night in a Champions League clash which is both feverishly anticipated here and exceedingly difficult to call.

For it wasn't just that Dutch ace Roy Makaay looked so razor-sharp with a hat-trick and two assists, nor that Bayern were able to destroy midtable Dortmund even without their injured totem Michael Ballack and while leaving three internationals, Owen Hargreaves, Torsten Frings and Sebastian Deisler, on the bench.

No, what made Arsenal's task seem even more daunting was the feeling that, when they step off the plane into a white-out here today, they may find conditions as hard to handle as the opposition. Makaay himself made it sound as if the further snow forecast this week was Bayern's 12th man, insisting: "It could be a disadvantage. They're not used to playing in these temperatures and it takes some adjustment to play in this cold."

If there is anything in the suggestion that Arsenal's gloved invaders aren't a cold-weather team, Bayern seem equipped to test the theory, since on Saturday they appeared to skate smoothly over a pitch which was still slippery despite the undersoil heating while their northern visitors froze so solid from the kick-off that they were two down within six minutes.

"Yes, we feel at home in this weather; just like you in the rain," teased Bixente Lizarazu, Bayern's French international full-back. So at home, indeed, that yesterday amid another serious snowfall, about 500 fans thought nothing of turning out at their Sabener Strasse complex in skiiing gear just to ogle them training. Bizarre.

One couple were visitors from the US. Another bloke came from Japan. That's a long way to come and stare at Oliver Kahn but it was a reminder how big Bayern remain worldwide. They are a club who really do feel like Manchester United, with their football-as-showbusiness air.

Hence, the old nickname of FC Hollywood. Remember when Stefan Effenberg had an affair with a teammate's wife or when Lothar Matthaus and Jurgen Klinsmann were spitting daggers or when Mario Basler had to be pulled out of nightclub brawls . . . ah, those were the days.

Not any more, they say. Deisler has got over the depression which sidelined him, the brilliant Brazilian defender Lucio has made up with coach Felix Magath after moaning

publicly about his demanding training regime and Kahn hasn't found any new barmaids to woo.

Hollywood? The best they can offer these days is a couple of old boys, Gerd Muller and Sepp Maier, setting off to California, trying to sell the World Cup there to a Governor Schwarzenegger. "No, there's no more Hollywood. Things are going well; no fights, no dramas, no arguments," Makaay assured me. "So it's bad luck for you."

And possibly bad news for Arsenal, too? Magath had a difficult job here. Taking over from Ottmar Hitzfeld at the start of the season was a bit like having to succeed Sir Alex Ferguson at United and his new regime, based on organisation and discipline, was criticised when it produced mainly ordinary performances.

Yet the signs are that this uncompromising figure has gradually won over both players and fans. Some of their football on Saturday was, well, Arsenal-like with little Mehmet Scholl, resurrected as a playmaker at 34, still convincing you he is the great player Germany never quite had.

What's more, Magath, a European Cup winner himself with Hamburg in 1983, comes over as pure FC Bayern - a winner with just a hint of arrogance, one who can't see any negatives.

So even though German captain Ballack is an almost certain nonstarter tomorrow because of a muscle problem, Magath just shrugged that he had such midfield riches in reserve, he wasn't worried.

Instead, he gave plenty of reasons why Arsenal should worry, from the icy weather to Sol Campbell's absence through injury. "Arsenal are a little bit tired because there's no winter break in England," he declared. "But we're in very good physical condition after our break. I think it will prove the difference on Tuesday."

No ifs, no buts. Bayern, four-times champions, do not entertain the prospect of defeat against the great under-achievers of the European Cup. Facing both a bitter Bavarian winter night and a familiar superiority complex, the prospect for Arsenal could be chilling.

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Arsenal are on thin ice

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