Back at the ground Gower and Jeff Thomson are surveying the scene. The Gower perm and Thommo's flowing locks look like the makings of a night-club double act.
Andrew Caddick bowls the first ball. No run! Hooray. The Ashes are on. Second ball - misfield by Michael Vaughan. Here we go. Fortunately, the Sky guys are doing their best to offer this up as a genuine contest. The Aussie commentators are allowed freedom of the mouth, but their true thoughts have been firmly boarded up.
By the end, events have proceeded with the inevitability of a Greek tragedy. Thommo and the rest of the Aussie vultures are gently tearing at the carcass of Hussain. Botham is down at the edge of the pitch with Allan Border - "Australia versus England, always a special occasion".
The commentary was professional if lacklustre. When Hussain won the toss, he was given the benefit of the doubt by the wise old heads for the two balls it took to confirm that this was a dream batting pitch.
By the end, no one could believe the call. It was a bleary-eyed morning, and I wanted the Test Match Special crew to appear, ignoring all the misery, and concentrate on the biggest chocolate cake in the world.
