I started my 100-minute Stressbuster with Hot Stone Therapy. Lying under a violet-lit ceiling on a heated bed scented with sandalwood candles, vigorous, well-oiled caresses seemed to come from all directions. I was convinced the therapist was massaging my head with her chin, but in fact she was giving me the elbow. Sometimes Victoria's hands held smooth black volcanic stones, imported from Arizona and heated to 56C, that felt like a gentle bombardment with mini hot-water bottles. These were then placed on my chest, like Smarties on a gingerbread man, and one for the third eye in my forehead. After a full-body exfoliation, express facial and a deliriously transporting scalp massage, I felt soothed, soporific and, well, stoned. But what about my Ayurvedic personality? "We don't usually mention this during the treatment," Victoria explained, "but having worked with you, I'd say you're a pitta with some kapha properties."