Two sides of the BB fame game

I auditioned for Big Brother because I wanted to win the £100,000 prize money. My mum needed an operation and I couldn't pay for it on a nurse's salary.

Big Brother isn't looking for someone who will sit in the corner and not do anything. I was top-class entertainment. When you entertain, you aren't looking for people to love you - you're looking for them to have an emotion towards you.

I appreciate love and hate.

I know my behaviour in the hot tub when I had unprotected sex [with fellow housemate Anthony, although he denies it] upset people. I'm from Africa, where so many people die of Aids, so I should have known better but I wasn't prepared for the reaction I got when I left the house.

Davina McCall is the face of Big Brother and she gave me a very aggressive interview. Going through so much sh*t only to be rejected by the face of Big Brother was terrible.

I felt totally disrespected.

Bad reputation

I couldn't go back to Zimbabwe. The African media made a huge fuss of what I did in the house. I did a shoot for Nuts magazine and the African press turned it into 'Makosi is a sex maniac'. When I claimed asylum here, it made things worse for me.

The Zimbabwean security services are on my case - when those people want to talk to you, they don't want to chat, they want to kill you. I appreciate where I grew up but I came to Britain when I was 18 and I feel at home here now.

At first, I didn't know the impact of what had happened in the house and I considered going back to my nursing job. I still miss nursing. I was a cardiac nurse, though, so if someone had a heart attack and they saw Makosi looking after them, it could disturb their recovery too much.

I made a reasonable amount of money after Big Brother and haven't had to work for two years but I'd like a job. I sometimes feel useless and know I'm not using my talents to their full potential. That's one of the problems of doing Big Brother. I can't walk into a hospital and get a job. They'll say: 'Makosi, you need someone to look after you.' A lot of people think I'm crazy.

Public animosity

Someone threatened to beat me up in H&M. This lady asked: 'Are you Makosi?' then started screaming and shouting. She was very aggressive. The manager hid me in the staff room until she left. I still get it today. People will say: 'Is that Makosi? She's a black bitch.' I have enough people to love me not to worry about those who don't.

People sometimes pretend not to know who I am just to be rude. I don't like being screamed at but I'm a strong woman and cope with it. I think: 'Suit yourself, I don't know your name but you know mine.'

There were stories that I became a prostitute. It hurts because it upsets my family. I don't care when people judge me but I don't like it when people make my family feel like they've failed. I have a big cupboard of skeletons but prostitution isn't one of them.