The Notting Hillbillies...

While the world and his wife pile into Notting Hill and its environs for one fun-filled weekend, spare a thought for the residents of this trendy enclave. If you want to recognise the true NH-ers from the rest of the teeming hordes, just read our sideways guide to some of the Notting Tribes.

*The trustafarians

Who are they? Super-rich posh kids who've decided to 'rebel' against society by dodging soap and following 'alternative' lifestyles...whilst being entirely funded by their ultra wealthy parents.

What will they be doing? Hanging out at the Westbourne because it used to be trendy.

How will I recognise them? By the general smell of marijuana hovering over them, long, skanky dreadlocks, baggy falling-apart trousers, and general look of being, like, totally spaced-out. Oh, and their black Amex card, too.

Natural habitat?: Around Elgin Crescent.

Sample saying: "Oh, I mean, yeah, totally, that band sold out aaaages ago. Did I tell you I just came back from Mustique?"

*The organic boho babes

Who are they? Willowy, hippy-ish vintage-wearing chicks, whose personal style prays at the altar of Sienna Miller and Kate Moss — although they wouldn't dream of wearing labels! Except maybe Stella...she's a veggie so it's OK...

What will they be doing? Rummaging through second-hand shops and stalls in Portobello Market. Squeezing the kumquats for ripeness at Fresh and Wild.

How will I recognise them? By the layers and layers of floaty clothes, long hair and skinny jeans tucked into cowboy boots.

Natural habitat?: Living in a large, airy, converted Georgian house in Colville Terrace.

Sample saying: "To be honest, I think people that feed their children that supermarket white bread are negligent parents."

*The city slummers

Who are they? Public school toffs who are dipping their toes into living in a more 'ethnic' area, while they pull in the money working at Morgan Stanley. It's so easy to get to on the Central Line, see?

What will they be doing? Dining in a vastly expensive, bijou little restaurant on the Pembridge Road.