The joke's on Ben

Adam Bishop's murderer knew how to add insult to injury: not content with spending 21 hours stabbing the naked trussed-up Tarmac-layer 347 times with a short skewer, he or she played Cliff Richard records - loudly - as they did so.

Not to worry, though, Mr Bishop was a vicious bully, as are all the other victims of the serial killer that Detective Inspector Edward Newson is soon trying to identify.

The youngest DI in the Met may be a product of the fast-track system for university graduates but his thought processes are incredibly slow. Then again, the " mildmannered ginger shorty" is secretly in love with his sidekick, luscious Sergeant Wilkie, whose butch boyfriend, Lance, beats her up.

Past Mortem - the title, is all too indicative of the level of wit on offer - is a message movie rather than a comic murder mystery. Ben Elton is more concerned with social conscience than pace or suspense.

Bullying is bad and it's just not good enough to stand on the sidelines: "You have to do something about it."

The website Friends Reunited and a charity known as Kidcall each play a part in a plot that spirals into stupidity. It's not easy to get

laughs out of "lives filled with hurt and disappointment", self-harm and suicide; nor is it easy to believe in a world where trains take only 20 minutes to go from Milton Keynes to Euston. And Scottish peaks over 3,000ft are called Munros, not Monroes.

However, some readers may enjoy the bouts of filthy sex and endless reminiscing about Eighties pop. Most, though, will wish they could ape the all-too-obvious killer and beat the author over the head with his book so many times that his brain turns to mush.