What don't you leave London without? Anxiety. Getting out of London is such a strenuous business.
Admit to one thing you've done in London that you've never told anyone before. After an argument with my wife, I thought it would be clever to hide behind a car so she'd look round and find I wasn't there - which she didn't. So I was stuck crouching behind this vehicle when a police car drew up. I had to explain why - it was rather embarrassing.
Who last saw you naked? Anyone who saw me in a Russian mud bath in the repeat of Pole to Pole on BBC2. I was supposed to cover myself up with strategically placed hands but as I came out of the mud bath, I slipped and my hands flew into the air.
What was the last conversation you had with a cabbie? The usual, all about Ken Livingstone and the rephasing of traffic lights.
What is your favourite bus route? The number 24 which runs from my home to the very heart of our wonderful city. It's a saviour on nights when there are no cabs in the West End.
What is the most overrated thing in London? The City. Everyone goes on about how important it is but it's got some of the ugliest buildings in London. Working there must be pretty soul-destroying.
If you were Mayor, what would you change? I'd do something about Heathrow airport, try to sort out the mess and restore a bit of dignity to the place. All the walkways have HSBC written on them at present. It should not be the job of a private bank to welcome people to a major international city.
What did you dream about last night? That someone had fitted spoilers to my car against my will. I hate those things.
Have you ever been a victim of crime in London? Only once, thankfully. Somebody nicked my wallet as I was crossing the Strand. About half an hour later, someone found it in a skip and sent it back to my office.
Which shop could you not live without? Stanfords on Long Acre. You can buy maps and books there that will change your life.
What is the most expensive meal you've had in London and who were you with? At Le Gavroche with John Cleese. It was when we were filming A Fish Called Wanda. The American producer took us and I don't think he realised how expensive it was. I expect it came off my fee.
What is your favourite meal to cook at home? Egg, bacon and sausage.
What last made you cry? I cried with laughter when I watched Lost in La Mancha. I was laughing hysterically and then suddenly it all turned and I was almost crying at the tragedy.
What would you put on the Trafalgar Square plinth? Samuel Johnson along with his quote: 'When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.' He was a big, fat man so he'd make a good foil to Nelson up there.
What is your life philosophy? Accentuate the positive and make the best of the good days.
Where in London would you have your ashes scattered? Camden recycling centre. It's a wonderful place.
If your house were on fire, which three things would you rescue? My wife would have probably already left the house, so I'd concentrate on rescuing our three cats, Albert, Elsie and Edith.
Sahara by Michael Palin is published on 26 September (Weidenfeld & Nicolson, £20); Sahara with Michael Palin starts on 13 October on BBC1
