My London: Alistair McGowan

Where do you live and why?

I live in Barnes. Everywhere in London refers to itself as a village but Barnes really does feel like one. It would be perfect if it had its own cinema.

How long have you lived there?

Four years. I've always lived in South London.

What advice would you give to a tourist?

Walk faster. And don't go to We Will Rock You. I went with my sister, who is a big Queen fan. She was only just a Queen fan when she left.

Who is in your secret address book?

Two Peas in a Pod, which is my local fruit and veg place. Channel Films for DVDs - you feel like you are walking on to an Indie movie set. I go to Wigmore Sports to get my tennis racket restrung, Shelley's on Dean Street for chicken sandwiches and John Lewis for everything else.

What is your earliest London memory?

I used to come to London with my mum's amateur theatre group. I also came to town with my dad in 1978 to watch QPR beat Burnley 7-0.

What are your extravagances?

My membership of the Harbour Club in Chelsea. I play tennis there and recently played Tony Hawks, Jonathan Ross, David Baddiel and Jimmy Carr. I suppose there's a bit of a 'comedy tennis circuit'.

What would you do if you were Mayor for the day?

I would introduce a £5,000 fine for urinating in the street. I find it pathetic, irresponsible, childish and disgusting. All the money could go to funding fully staffed public toilets.

What is your life philosophy?

Treat people as you would be treated and be responsible towards the planet.

Do you have a favourite pub?

I love going for a drink at the Riverside theatre bar in Hammersmith. It's got a nice indie arts' vibe. I also like the Red Lion in Barnes. I don't drink beer, though, I think it tastes foul. I always drink ginger ale on TV as a prop.

What aftershave do you wear?

I adore perfume on women, especially Chanel, but can't stand aftershave.

What are your current projects?

I'm writing a film script at the moment --a biopic of a historical figure. It's very different to writing sketches - there's loads of research and I'm not getting paid! I also went to Prague recently to take a small role in a film with Elijah Wood, called Everything is Illuminated. I play a rabbi.

What was the last CD you bought?

I liked the UNKLE album, Never, Never, Land. I actually have a pretty small collection of CDs as I just skip around the radio - normally Virgin FM until the ads get too irritating (after all, I do a lot of them).