Oh, is it half-term again? Here's Rik Mayall as the shiftiest Merlin you ever did see in a weird tale also starring Tia Carrere as an evil scientist (in a blond wig, probably hoping no one in Hollywood will recognise her) trying to unlock evil Mordred from his timeless slumber, while Patrick Bergin plays our hero, King Arthur, as if he were an overweight Irish publican.