Langham: 'I'm a disappointment'

At school he earned the nickname Puke because of his anxiety-induced vomiting, but he was too insecure to alert his parents.

He used his sense of humour as a defence mechanism and said he believed he went into showbusiness in an effort to seek out approval.

Langham started writing for Spike Milligan and in 1976 became the only British writer on the Muppet Show. He was one of the original members of the Not The Nine O'Clock News team but after becoming an alcoholic and cocaine addict he was dropped after one series, to be replaced by Griff Rhys Jones.

He said: "I used to say, 'Of course I drink and take drugs, I'm in the entertainment industry.

It goes with the territory.' But that was a convenient justification for what I was doing. "Available in the entertainment business is one of the most powerful and headiest narcotics on the market - it's called approval."

Langham, a twice-married father of five, told how he used his addictions and work to hide from the parts of himself he was too scared to face up to.

He said: "I'm actually quite frightened. I find life quite difficult and if it weren't for the tools I use to get me through the next hour I don't know how I would deal with it. No wonder I drank."

He turned his life around after meeting second wife, musical director Christine Cartwright. She stood by him as he successfully fought his alcohol and drug problems with psychotherapy and he went on to co-write BBC2 comedy drama Help with Fast Show star Paul Whitehouse.

The programme won a Bafta last week when it was named best comedy, while Langham's role in The Thick Of It won him the best comedy performance award.

But despite the plaudits, Langham's feelings of insecurity remain: "When I'm dead I'll be perfect but up until that point... I seem to be a slow learner and it has taken me a long time to get that one message, the message that I crave hearing. Not, 'Darling, you were brilliant', but, 'You know something, you're OK'. Just to be OK is something I crave."